A situation happened recently that felt so uncomfortable that I couldn’t leave it alone. I just had to address it and so I did. It was a very familiar event—having dinner with somebody or a group of people and walking away feeling so unsatisfied, hating every moment of it.
In fact, I realized I could kvetch for days and I would still remain unsatisfied. This time, I did something quite different. I paused and found a safe place to ask my body what was so unsatisfying here? And when I could pause like that, I could feel my body appreciating the question and it felt very present in a different way than the usual chatter of thinking about something I don’t like, and why!
This is what came, being with that kind of ‘background feeling’ at a dinner gathering where I came away feeling so very unsatisfied wondering why, again! What came was a real surprise and left me feeling in a very different place!
Join me here and see what comes for you in this kind of situation where you’re feeling either uncomfortable or more—unsatisfied.
Actually, they might feel slightly different. Feeling unsatisfied often points to the possibility of what it would feel like to feel fully satisfied. Feeling uncomfortable seems more like doing something, like making a list about what to do about it, but not necessarily point to something that could change the body experience, more like a quick fix to get rid of that feeling.
In this recording, I discover something very different as a possibility I never dreamed of.
I’m envisioning a Daily Practice in Wholebody Focusing:to embody and sustain that sense of Me-Here as a body-sense of my Self as the foundation place—an Inner-Directed Experience of who I am and what I want to do.
Over the years, it has become clear to me that we seem to desire to start with an Intunement, to begin to have a fresh sense of ourselves as a Wholebody Focusing experience—to get in touch with what might be there in us right now.
How am I? What is going on right now? How can I make room for that? –that kind of attention. We seem to need some kind of solid grounding, something that we can hold onto, to allow those kinds of questions to emerge.
We usually start with some form of an Intunement to find that place in us that awakens what naturally wants to come alive and to inform us about ourselves and what is happening when it feels safe enough to do so!
It works when we can do this, and a sense of gratitude often follows when we spend time with ourselves in this way. It also initiates a relationship—it is not just a thought, it is an experience of me and something out there, a not-me, that together awakens a sense of feeling alive to myself beyond stuck-me!Continue reading Beginning a Wholebody Focusing Practice
For those who would like to use the Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements that Kevin has provided to the blog for their practice, here is an easy way to find them on the blog. Below you will find an index of the three albums of intunements that are available. The three albums have different themes:
First Intunementsis for anyone who wants to start or become more proficient at Wholebody Focusing;
Coming Home is for anyone who has some basic understanding of Wholebody Focusing and wants to deepen their practice; and
Exploring the Unexplored is for anyone who wants to extend their practice in ways that they may not have yet experienced.
These Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements are here for your free use and enjoyment. Our greatest wish is that they bring healing into the lives the people who listen to them.
Please find the Audio Guiding Suggestion/Intunement you are interested in below. This list will be on the home page for three days.
After a new blog appears on the home page, you will be able to:
Use the “Search by Theme” menu and click on “Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements.” This index will be the first page that comes up. Just click on the links on this page and it will get you to the intunement for which you are searching.
You can also access this list on the Home Page menu option “Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements Index.” Once again, click on the name of the intunement, it will take you to the page where you will find it.
Over several days, even weeks, I have listened to this generous Intunement. Each time something more has opened as if I listened on the first floor of a building and saw what was there and then the second and then the third and fourth taking in the new sights and sounds and developments. I wonder what more might come?
In this intunement Kevin offers us the sense of these words, “I want to invite This: that life in you, being now felt in me.” In beginning here I’ve gone straight to the heart of the matter he offers. As you listen, Kevin comes to this in steps and “recognitions” that open doors for me, for you. I am delighted and intrigued by the mystery of the words I and You as Kevin explores them and You and I listen and mutually participate in the felt sense of the Life in You and the Life in Me.
There is the Invitation and the what-happens-in-me-and-in-you with this Invitation. I notice the resonance, the essential Heartfelt Connection, alive in Kevin, alive in Me, alive in You. Nothing we have to do but just now it comes to me that I/We Can Claim something essential.
And then he adds something: “…to receive information about me from a place that’s actually larger than I think myself to be.
Right away, I hear something within. It’s so loving. It’s addressing me, telling me something. I know right away that I will not share it here in this preamble. I won’t risk it.
Then my throat tightens and is a bit painful, knowing that I have something I won’t share with others. I’ve decided I can’t tell someone else what I heard from a place that’s larger than I think myself to be. Even though what I heard was totally loving.
Then I hear Kevin say: “….let that be felt, that sense of desire to know, who I am….and step back…”
There’s a billowing out in my body. A sharp pain in my right shoulder. I sit back and ask the question again, and something in my throat tightens again. Tears come, that don’t express one emotion but a cloud of emotion.
And now I change my mind: I’ll tell you one part of what came—it answered that I am beloved.
How do you usually connect with your inner places as you begin a WBF session? Is there a question or questions that you ask inwardly to stimulate the process? Or do you often just wait, making space inwardly as you ground, and allow whatever wants to come to show itself to you in its own way and time?
In this blog entry, Kevin shares an intunement statement that Gene Gendlin offered him in one of his very first focusing sessions. It was offered by Gene in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek and humorous way, as a means of helping Kevin and his inner places connect. Listen to this latest offering from Kevin and see how this statement feels to you and your inner places.
It feels in me that this intunement isn’t only about how we might squeeze our eyes—for me it touches into the ways I squeeze mySelf in order to do whatever I “must” do. Alters Me. Compromises Me.
This intunement reminds me that through WBF and Heartfelt Connections I’ve been able to find Me—this Me is able to see more because there is more of Me to hold her, more of Me allowing more to emerge.
And all of this brings me to be able to ask: how do I squeeze mySelf in order to take in what I think is around me? Can I hold that question at the same time I hold your understanding that my own brain-confusion “is not of my own doing”?
Or is it?!!!? Can I hold that question too?
Maybe in this moment I can say: I am embodied, therefore I am. And this embodiment, with the richness of its seeing/vision, is the
“I Am-ness” of me.
This exercise allowed me to connect with my own warm and the people that are warm around me. It also helped me to connect to the hostility that was there when I grew up and my struggle to get a bit of warm.
After listening to the intunement for a second time, I have been dancing with both, the hostility and the warm, and I am surprised that I am able to find that warm place in me not only for me but for others, no matter their hostility.
Inviting my body into the warm makes me feel like I am in my own cocoon and I feel less threatened. I can always come back here and make the choice to engage with other human beings who can be warm and nice.