mindfulness Archives

Paused to be Love

I purchased a fist-sized Fluorite crystal selecting a particular one by holding them in my hands to see which one had the strongest vibration for me. I chose the one that lifted my hand up and down.

Photo by Diana Scalera

Recently, Kevin and I have been exploring. Participatory Spirituality. it reminded me of the blog Pause to be Love. It is a story of holding space with others in a way that leads us to experience a positive felt sense unexpectedly. Kevin McEcenue and I decided to start writing more about Whole Body Focusing when Particiatory Spiritual is present. It draws us into situations in which our interactions with others stimulate our our need for Participatory Spirituality.

Change Your Mind

The first day of Spring gave me a lovely present. In New York City, the weather was mild and sunny. It was a beautiful day to walk around my neighborhood.

I walked toward my favorite organic grocery store in the East Village when I came across an old school building. It was converted in 1980 into a performance art workshop operated by the artists.

I used to live across the street from this building and went to many avant-garde performances there. It was in a constant state of disrepair and construction then. A few years ago, the building underwent a $37 million gentrification makeover and was taken over by a prestigious art institution in NYC. I never even considered going inside. I felt that it was part of the general destruction of a neighborhood that was once cheap enough for anyone to live in and had supported a broad range of art and life.

Change Happens

As I walked by, I paused to be with this new incarnation of the building. There were inviting signs announcing some new performances, and I decided to go in. I spoke to the people at the front desk and learned that there was a multimedia exhibition open to the public on the political nature of cells. I spent some time with this exhibit. My favorite part was watching a video of the sun’s rays shining on the particles in the air we breathe. It was called “This Is Your Living Room.”

I also got a chance to use the bathroom there. It was gender neutral with multiple stalls. This new architectural adaptation felt right to me and was needed to reduce gender bias.

While I am sad that I may never see the likes of Penny Arcade’s outspoken rants or Bina Sharif’s insightful plays in this building again, I got a chance to see that there is something here that does support art and life.

Try a Little Kindness

When I got to the newly-opened organic grocery, I noticed a Latino man in his forties putting vegetables on the shelf. He looked familiar to me. As I paused with that sense of familiarity, I asked him if he had worked in a different grocery store in the neighborhood. He had, and said that the store had closed. I hadn’t seen him in years. What made me remember was his kindness. I felt delighted that he was now working in this new, well-run store and wished him well in his new job. I needed to pause, because I recognized someone with whom I rarely interacted, simply because his kindness was always so present.

Good Vibrations

As I walked back home, I realized I wanted to pick up a plant for my apartment. There is a fantastic store, EviFlorist, run by a family of Latin Americans who have in-depth knowledge and skill with plants. They also have a fabulous collection of gems and can help their customers select plants and crystals to enrich their lives.

The moment you are near the store, you feel the vibrational energy increase. There are so many plants and gems that every breath you take raises your own energy levels. The hyacinth drew my attention. It was just beginning to bloom. Wha talso attracted my attention were the crystals. I needed to bring this kind of energy into my life. I held the fist-sized Fluorite crystal in my hands to see which one had the strongest vibration for me. The Crystal made my hands vibrate up and down, I was sold.

Big Yellow Taxi

As I happily left the store with my purchases, I realized that I couldn’t carry the groceries, the plant, and the crystal all the way home, and I searched for a cab.

I have a sure-fire way to get a cab in NYC. Instead of using my cell phone, I sing a song to myself, inviting a cab driver to find me. Within 30 seconds, I was in a cab. The driver was a man who wore a Sikh turban. I noticed that he was stressed.

I let him know that I was grateful to him for finding me with all these packages and that I was not concerned with the traffic. He relaxed. I saw that he was a very young man who was struggling with the pressures of being a cab driver in NYC. By the time we got to my apartment, he finally noticed me. He eventually offered to help me with my bags, and we wished each other a good day.

When I was walking into my apartment building, I found a name for this experience—the Magical Mystery Tour. Equally important, I appreciated the pauses for Love with everyone I met that day.

Sister Hazel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y944YxuE1OU

Glenn Campbell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvswocNN-g8

Beach Boys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eab_beh07HU

Joni Mitchel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94bdMSCdw20

Beatles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8WMGBuNaus

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Participatory Spirituality: A New Experience

Kevin McEvenue explores Participatory Spirituality as a new experience of his ever evolving Wholebody Focusing Practice.

y Kevin McEvenue

This blog is about my work with Participatory Spirituality. I am introducing a new topic to be shared and explored together. Other blogs about Participatory Spirituality will be identified in the first paragraph.

As I say the words out loud, I notice I stop! A sequence of events happens. Holding Grounded Presence takes over. A feeling of confusion emerges, as though I don’t know what to think. It’s true, I don’t know! MY body took a deep breath and paused; wonder washes over me.

Panic or shut down; I wonder as though I am curious. I am aware of both.

I stop, and I notice, and then something comes into my awareness! It feels new—like a new direction—as though a door has been opened in this way of responding. And holding both with equal positive regard.

Something comes that is clearly unexpected and not of my own making. Body, mind, and an awakening that is not of my own making! This is what we will be exploring as this new direction takes us to a place we have not been before, a kind of engagement with life that seems very personal.

Please join me in this new experience of myself as I explore what happens within me when I take this next step, then the next, and then the one after that. It seems to have a life of its own. I am given a choice.

To comment or read others’ comments, click here and go past the end of the post

The Release of Suffering: Observer Effect

The stories connect to the Observer Effect in some way. They are also connected to being able to trust that there is some knowledge beyond our thoughts that can guide us if we let it.

Photo Credit: Marty Correia, Kate Sitting with Rothko

In physics, the Observer Effect is the idea that the mere act of observing a phenomenon inevitably changes it.

The Observer Effect

I am not a scientist, and I will take the words above for face value while letting you know that scientists and mathematicians have observed, documented, and proven this concept to be true. The combination of the Observer Effect and the belief that our bodies know what they need to heal can help us find our authentic selves. The stories below are connected to the Observer Effect in some way. They are also connected to trusting that there is knowledge beyond our thoughts that can guide us if we let it.

Searching for Peace Amidst the Spiritual Energy of the Holocaust

I recently read a book by Ellen Korman Mains, Buried Rivers: A Spiritual Journey into the Holocaust. It is an excellent book in which Ellen recounts her journeys to Europe to connect with the residual energies of the Holocaust. Ellen sensed them while traveling on a train in Germany. She felt these energies as a combination of grief, revulsion, and much more. Ellen eventually made finding a way of relating to these energies her life’s work and has written this book to describe her journey.

What Ellen found when she came in contact with these unresolved energies or spirits was that she eventually was able to hold space for them by dropping the habitual tendencies to judge them (thereby fearing or rejecting them) or to identify with them (thus feeling shame). As she learned to hold space for them in this neutral way, a natural state of compassion emerged.

From Observation, Grief, to Compassion

As Ellen held space for them, they also held space for her own healing. The process that both she and the suffering spirits shared provided mutual benefit. Because of her capacity to observe and sense energies that others might not recognize, she was able to hold a space of compassionate presence for them. With her support, these spirits were able to experience their own capacity to heal. At the same time, her connection to the Holocaust, as the daughter of an Auschwitz survivor, also improved.

In doing this work, Ellen was supported in her lifelong quest to live deeply in the present. Her Buddhism and Focusing practices helped her find basic goodness even in the aftermath of the Holocaust by observing and accepting exactly what was already there. This helped her bring an attitude of steady, quiet attention and open curiosity. In the end, she found she could heal herself while helping others by holding space for what was there, allowing the energies she encountered to be witnessed, and giving them the time and space they needed to heal.

Ellen continues this work by sharing her book with audiences around the world.

Kate and Mark Rothko Observing His Space Together

A friend, Kate, told me about an experience at the Whitney Museum in New York City. She was interested in having a more meditative experience in the museum rather than walking by one painting after another. She asked the staff to provide her with a small stool that some museums offer patrons. The stool gave her a chance to sit and be with a painting or other art object.

As Kate walked around the museum, she found a painting that called to her. It was Mark Rothko’s Four Darks in Red. Continue reading “The Release of Suffering: Observer Effect”

What Has Come for Me Here

Paul Through the Window — Paul through the Window by Kevin McEvenue

I have been reflecting on how what has been shared—in this kind of Heartfelt Communication with one another—has felt so good for me. I’m thinking of the recent sense of connection that speaks from direct experience that has awakened something in each of the lives that are giving voice—or describing—their direct experience of something real and something worthwhile for them to communicate with themselves and to share with each other.

I remember that I would often say, “That touches me. Your words—or your voice—touches me deeply.”

So I’m wondering, what do I mean by that? What does that mean? “What you share here touches me deeply.” And I can feel that right now. In my heart. In my belly. In my thighs. It’s a kind of warmth, a kind of loving and a kind of wanting that seems to touch a kind of an awakening of a desire in me that’s already there.

Continue reading “What Has Come for Me Here”

Mr. Deer and Me

Mr Deer

I offer a moment-to-moment description of a grounded presence experience that I had with a deer as we both walked through the woods. This example highlights an important Wholebody Focusing practice–holding a “we” space for partners. It also shows how we can have a “we” space with any other sentient being and how both of us are impacted by the relational space they create together.

There he was, Mr. Deer, quietly but unexpectedly just over there. In fact, he was just beyond the clearing of the forest as I began my own walk. I was taking a break from a training that wasn’t going well for me. I wanted to enjoy a walk in the forest to find a grounded sense of myself again.

That is when it happened, that encounter with Mr. Deer. It seemed to startle both of us so unexpectedly. It was a surprise, yes, and startling? Maybe for a split second we both knew that something felt different here and so we seemed to pause and take in the moment with curiosity. It was that pause that seemed to change everything because we both took some space to take in what might be happening that felt so different from what we were used to. What was that? What made us stop and take a moment to become aware of the something that felt new here?

I can’t speak for Mr. Deer. He has his own sense of what was happening in him. For me, as a reflective human creature that I am, I realized I was in a good place. Usually I walk through a forest without really taking much in. But this time I felt differently. I was enjoying this moment of peace and enjoying myself in this wooded environment.

Continue reading “Mr. Deer and Me”

Letting life happen in me…

Can I even risk being seen that deeply, seeing that deeply. The thought of that scares and excites me.

Photo Credit: Gabrielle Clark

Who am I?

I ask and ask many times and I step back, but nothing comes.

I stay and say it is okay.

I drift off and remember something I have read yesterday – ‘we must defend your dwelling place in us to the last’, so I come back. I ask again.

Then I remember a lovely note from a friend – ‘its okay and enjoy life’ he says – This makes me smile. Enjoy life – yes! The smile keeps growing. I think this is enough and I finish.

I come across a poem and I am moved by the line – “Close your eyes and follow your breath to the still place that leads to the invisible path that leads you home.”

I pause again and follow my breath – a feeling is coming in my body. It’s big! It is like a feeling of ecstasy, it is scary and nice and I am allowing it.

I remember the support of the chair.

It feels like I am allowing life to flow in me and it is so beautiful and light and uplifting. I can still feel it now, it is tingling and buzzing with life. “Let life happen to you” says Rilke.

Perhaps I am the vehicle for the life that is longing to live in me. Or am I the life I felt moving in me.

I don’t know.

Who am I beyond the conditioning that has been imposed on me?

Who is the one that looks out from behind my eyes?

Who is the one that looks out from behind your eyes?

Can I even risk being seen that deeply, seeing that deeply. The thought of that scares and excites me.

I hold both, as a hopeful possibility.

Note Authors of my inspiration in order: Etty Hillesum, Rainer Maria Rilke and Teresa of Avila

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Oceans of Benevolence

…You offer me Space for that encounter a couple years ago with the two does. As I have your words here it comes back so palpably, so viscerally that moment of going out the front door and finding the deer just across and up on the high side of the driveway.

We all stopped.

And from somewhere there was a becoming more as I somehow knew or it came to just meet them wordlessly yes but also deeply from my heart as though it were a sending and receiving directly.

As I “remember” this and re-feel this I am in there again and wonder what/how this relates with your experience.

My heart comes more alive. Yes that sounds right, the activity of my heart comes more alive to itself in this stopping in this way. I see/feel/give from my heart. And the piece that comes more to know itself is the receiving part.

I have to pause here. There are oceans of Benevolence to receive that I have been letting in by the dropper full. OMG

OK This one can go on the blog.

As I reread this having typed it here, a reticent bit comes, this is wide open and something worries about its safety.

It comes to me to pause back at the words that seemed to describe or point to something – oceans of Benevolence.

Letting this In.

A word comes further as I have the whole of this experience – Reception. Something satisfying in there, to have these words come. Oceans of Benevolence. Reception.

Laura Dickinson

What does my body need now?

Wholebody Focusing Haiku # 15
Being with the pain
That is trauma residue
Takes grounding and love.

Photo Credit: Anonymous

How Haiku helps

What does my body need now? Frequently writing Haiku about my WBF discoveries not only helps me document what is emerging but also helps me to sustain the new healing.

As I was preparing for bed a few weeks ago, I noticed that I felt defeated. There were so many challenges that made me anxious and fearful that I wondered if it were useless to try to sleep. My husband and I have been experiencing serious health problems for the last year and a half and it felt exhausting to be in this place.

The words “what does my body need now?” came to me. I thought I would give it a try. As I got into bed, I felt into my body as I asked this question. My hands moved. They landed crossed, on my upper chest with my hands near my shoulders. It felt so comfortable and comforting. The next thing I remembered is that I woke up at 6:00 AM. I had slept through the night and my hands were still in this position. It was as if I had given myself a seven hour Reiki treatment.

Asking My Body

In the days following, I noticed a shift. When a situation arose, I didn’t have to “check” in with my body what it needed. The answer was just there.

“Did I want to work on taxes right now?”

“No! I needed to finish my film project.”

“Did I want to be part of a committee to make important decisions?”

“No! I just wanted to play.”

“Could I take on a new responsibility?”

“No! I had to organize myself to be with the responsibilities that were already here.”

I am noticing ME as my first reaction to a situation. It is coming from my body and out my mouth before I can get a chance to filter it. In the past, when someone wanted me to do something, I would usually say yes first and think about it later. That caused a lot of stress because, while I may come to know how I really feel about something later, I would never want to renege on my agreement to take on a responsibility.

The body needs what it needs

Old feelings emerged. Was I being selfish? Would this new assertion of my needs alienate people? These are the same feelings that lead me to say yes to most of what people asked of me, however, now I was having them after I declined to do the whatever was asked of me. I had the opportunity to see in real time what the result was of my going with what my body needed. Here are some respones from ohters. Sometimes people were surprised or amused or agreed that I needed to take care of myself. No one has disowned me or started to not return my calls. These Haikus helped me feel less stress and anxiety because I was doing what my body needed rather than what others might want of me.

Writing about what comes for us in any format supports our WBF work by continuing the healing that is already in progress. I encourage all who read this blog to share their own experiences with shifts and new ways of living. You can do this as a contributor to the blog

Haiku to Find Myself

15
Being with the pain
That is trauma residue
Takes grounding and love.

16
When there are stressors
Allowing movement steadies
The nervous system

17
When progress is made
New shifts need to be noticed
So that they can stay

18
When good things happen
I hold space for all that comes
With an open heart

19
When challenges pop
And there is nowhere to go
Go inside and move!

20
What does my heart need?
Slowing down to listen now
This is new to me

21
When upset, I ask
What does my body need now?
Then I notice me

To leave or read a comment, click here and go past the end of the post.

11 Ways to connect with yourself

Tag: mindfulness

Paused to be Love

Change Your Mind

Change Happens

Try a Little Kindness

Good Vibrations

Big Yellow Taxi

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Like this: