When You Help Me Go Further, It Feels so Good

Photo Credit: Kakadu National Park, Victoria by Gabrielle Clark

The first time I tried Focusing something was not right. I was usually good at what I tried, and I could pick most things up easily. Not focusing—I froze, I could not do it. My body would shake, my jaw would shake, no words would come out.

It was so hard! How was it that some people were saying how wonderful it was. I hated it and wished I had never joined the class.

This situation led me on a mission to get it. I would try harder; surely I would get it…eventually. I went to lots of different teachers. I did lots of reading, and I even spoke to Gene on one of his phone courses.

An Encounter with Gene Gendlin

Even given a chance to speak with Gene Gendlin, the founder of Focusing, I couldn’t get the words out that I wanted. They would have been, “please help me, Gene, I can’t do focusing and I don’t know why, please help me.” Instead, I made a statement about the process model. I held my breath and blurted out…“Hi Gene, I am so excited that my body will know what it needs when it finds it.” There was silence for a few seconds “Oh…what do you mean?” he asked gently.

Oh my gosh, I froze. Did I even know what I meant? How will I answer him? What if I can’t remember what I said?  I had rushed it out so quickly, and I didn’t know if it was still there to be found. I panicked. I can feel this now, how I hold my breath and rush the words out quickly, I don’t feel my body at all. I paused and begged my body to bring it back, sure enough, it was there. I tried again.

We spoke back and forth for a while. Gene was not just answering me.  He was trying to understand me and to help me to go on from where I was. He seemed to genuinely care about what I said and even wanted to hear more, to understand me or maybe help me understand myself. He would say something that he thought I had meant and then say “is that right?” so I could check it. It moved me profoundly and brought tears to my eyes then and now- this was so new to me and so wanted.

It ended up by him saying “we need both the words and a body sense. If the body is not ready, then it’s not ready, and if the words are not ready, they are not ready. They will come when they are ready.”

How this Conversation Lives in Me Now

Kevin McEvenue says, “when the story is ready to tell itself it will” and “the secret to your unfolding lies in you not me, I just throw things out now and then for you to check them.” My body likes these statements.

I will never forget this moment, and I think one day, with practice, I will be able to slow down enough to feel both. I will be able to pause and hold both my body sense and my words together and speak slowly and surely from a place of grounded presence. My practice will be to feel me first, then speak from that deeper place. To let it come, to allow the story to tell itself from where it wants to. This new ability is a scary thought both unknown and unfamiliar, but I like it.

No one can teach me how to hold both my body sense and my words together, I have to find my own way, and I am grateful to Kevin and Gene for the way they both hold space for a person to do just that.

To find my own way feels so good.

*****

Gene Gendlin is the founder of Focusing. To learn more about him, please click on http://www.focusing.org/bios/gendlin_bio.html

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Something is Happening That is Good For Me

As a reader and a contributor to this blog, I’m very touched to hear this audio from Kevin, “Something is Happening That is Good For Me.”

And it turns out that he’s talking about his response to recent contributions and comments on this cyber-gathering place.  It’s as though I’m hearing it for the first time—that we are “…participating in something not of our own making…” in these recent writings.

He reminds us that we’re participating—we’re not passive carriers for inspired ideas—instead we‘re active participants in what comes through each of us; something that is uniquely helpful to the writer, and uniquely helpful—in yet another way—to the reader.

And he adds something else that I feel is new:  that we are experiencing “…a felt-sense, person-to-person.”  And he says “YES” to that, adding, “.that’s why I’m here in this moment, to say YES.”

Lucky us—to have the opportunity to sense into this new-knowing.

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Deep Hunger, the “Not Knowing” and Wholebody Focusing

A few years ago, I was experiencing chronic anxiety due to a stressful situation at work. My body was deeply affected.  My blood pressure, heart rate and diabetes markers were all higher than normal.  I relied on my focusing practice to help me.  In a Wholebody focusing session, a wordless felt sense of anxiety transformed into a sensation of me experiencing my own birth.  As I exited the birth canal, I felt free from the anxiety that I had been experiencing.  A new understanding emerged about how my body experienced anxiety.

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Photo Credit: Dreamstime

Continue reading Deep Hunger, the “Not Knowing” and Wholebody Focusing

Life just ‘Moves’. Just ‘IS’. That is what it is to say ‘I Am’!

Kevin McEvenue, Addie van der Kooy, Patricia Manessy and I, as participants in this blog, have been engaged in a conversation about a new edge of Wholebody Focusing.  Addie presented us with the idea that “I can be okay, whilst not feeling okay.” Patricia let us know how important this concept is to her.  Kevin’s intunement gives us an example of how to achieve that sense of wholeness with movement while holding whatever is present in the body.

What came for me today while listening to this intunement was the pure joy of moving without searching for its meaning.  I was able to feel joy in my movements as I was aware that I woke up this morning with some emotional heaviness.

This is a great intunement to connect you to your natural ability to move from an inner directed source of self, to become solidly grounded, and possibly to be able to hold both a strong sense of “Me Here” and whatever is wanting your attention.  This may alleviate what is suffering in the moment and may also lead to some longer lasting shift in that suffering.

Diana Scalera

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Me & Planet Earth That Sustains Me & More

Out of nothing, something new emerges.  Kevin connects us to one of his influences, Pierre de Chardin, who believed that we have a role to play in the expanding universe.  We are a part of planet Earth and it sustains life–even our lives.  We can sense into the laws of gravity, for example, that help us function every moment of our lives.  This intunement is about the experience of our sense of self connected to the Earth in grounded presence and what might get in the way.

An important block can be the emotional pain of the fear of not being loved or wanted.  This type of despair might be a very powerful presence in our lives.  If we make room for fear of nothingness, more comes. We need to endure the sense of nothing in order to allow something that is not of our own making to emerge.

Enjoy what emerges today in your grounded presence.

Photo Credit: Michael Lux – Yosemite

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Let Your Experience Be

Welcome to the second video blog of a recent conversation between Kevin and UK Wholebody Focusing trainer Addie van der Kooy.  In the first clip Kevin and Addie explored the “inner core muscle” of “Me Here” and in this clip Addie speaks about another inner core muscle that can be activated by the practice of Letting Your Experience Be – a letting go of any notion of what your experience should be in each moment.  Enjoy!

Addie van der Kooy (avdkooy@outlook.com)

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An Active Meditation to Welcome What Wants to Present Itself for your Attention

This intunement is about connecting to ourselves without any goal or need to “do it the right way.”   Kevin starts with inviting us to use our breath.  He guides us on a clear path to experience ourselves from both inner movement (breath) and outer movement (whatever shows up).  That is it!

You can choose to stay only with the movement or make space for something wanting to come into consciousness.  He ends by suggesting a gentle way to re-engage with the fullness of the world around us.

This is an intunement to put on your cell phone so that you can pause and take a mini “Me Here” vacation whenever it is needed.

Diana Scalera

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A Shared Body to Body Listening & Understanding Beyond Trying to Think

Wake up and enjoy who you are!  Love your resistance!  Feel you own energy! And let what wants your attention to have the space it needs.

Kevin demonstrates how Wholebody Focusing is about returning to our authentic selves and honoring ourselves over and over again.  He does this by walking us through a challenging shared experience with two people in his life and how he can be with those challenges and still be able to love and enjoy who he is.

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