Stop, Wait for More!

By Kevin McEvenue

These preambles are all about inviting a direct experience—in words, as they are sounded out, then explored, as you listen to me. This is a mutual, bodily-felt event happening as an experience of me and then a sense of you.

It starts with feeling something inside myself. I pause and I wait for the words to come. For your part, you hear the sound of them. Maybe notice that.

This is an opportunity to create a mutual experiencing with each other in this kind of direct experience. Direct—you and me—two different worlds awaken to one another each in our own way as we speak and listen together.

So, let’s see what comes in this next podcast. It came suddenly in the early morning. I wrote it down immediately, because it needed to be precise: “I know something before I know what it is.”

Those were the very words that excited me. I knew I wanted to spend time with it, companion it as I share this experience with you. Speaking out—aware you are there too. To include another beyond myself seems to benefit the whole experience in its possibilities of revelations.

Again, the podcast speaks for itself. It offers surprises, twists and turns that happen. Full stop!……. it brought me right back to an earliest moment of life. Freshly remembered now; perhaps the first experience of awakening to human consciousness, noticing, something is not right! Followed by an instantaneous response, a loud scream that seems to say, get the fuck off me. That is what it felt like then and now—right now—I feel the force of it!

I was in a baby crib—a few months old—left outside in the early spring. A cat jumped on me, sat on my mouth to feel the warmth from my breath. My response was instantaneous, I can still smell it, its fur on my face. Maybe I felt my breathing blocked. I reacted with force. Get the fuck off me! It got the message and fled. I felt it gone. I felt empowered, it brought relief. In other words, it felt good. It worked and it taught me, I can do it! And I still feel that same powerful reaction inside: Something is not right here!

What was your first reaction to something like that in your life? A moment when it felt life-threatening. What did you perceive? What was your reaction?

For me, I acted with anger and yelled like hell. It was over in a second. But the pattern stuck, maybe because I felt I could! It worked! And I liked it, it felt empowering. I got noticed!

And that is what I want to explore now. It is a pattern that is still there, feels good, but it also causes trouble; it feels conflicted with other parts of me. I seem to react too quickly before taking action! For example, to type a message: so much confusion happens right there as I type. As though I am too much in a hurry. Almost like a panic; I have to do something—do something now!

Back to those opening words that excited me; “I know something before I know what it is.” This time, I pause; I wait for the feel of it to come again. Suddenly I hear Gene’s words—Gene Gendlin saying, with a tone of gentle curiosity: “Oh, so you don’t know! (pause) You don’t know yet!” This feels like heartfelt listening at its best.

Something shifts right now, as I put words to it! A new clarity comes now, not the panicked hurried feeling I know so well. And it feels new, I can feel space inside. I have some room, room to pause, to breath, wait and see with a kind of curiosity…to see what wants to come here. What wants to come next. The pull to act quickly is also here, but the desire to wait and see is even more compelling!

The Olympic diver comes to mind again. How he practices that perfect dive, enjoying the whole event slowly in his wonderful imagining, feeling it all, the whole of it. Waiting for the right moment to happen and then it does. Effortlessly it just flows.

The crowd cheers and so do I. I can do this too. And I want to…….

Photo Credit: McEvenue Archives

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We Want to Dance with One Another

by Kevin McEvenue

We Want to Dance with One Another!

There is a pattern in these podcasts; they end with a question as though there is something more to be added and yet I don’t know what that is. And there is a sense that this is enough for now. Just accepting that; it is as though it seems to want time and space to fulfill itself in its own wisdom.

In this podcast entitled: We Want to Dance with One Another, I awaken to a sense of myself; me, and then you, coming from that sense in the warmth in each other. This podcast explores this question with some surprises that speak from themselves better than I could if I tried to! And then they open a door to something else that wants my attention. What stops me?

Once again, I am using my own exploration of giving voice to my own direct experience of an issue that is dear to my heart and perhaps to yours too—how to feel connected to myself and to life outside in ways that satisfies us and brings so much more to life around us when we can.

Guiding Suggestions: Please remember to become grounded in yourself first before you listen to make room another person’s experience.

What comes to me is appreciating that Gene Gendlin spent his whole life exploring what is already there from the get-go. What is already implied—the whole of it, being felt in our body, waiting for it to be more fully realized. It becomes the story of our life and how that is acted out—and its possibilities.

As Gendlin said, “Although basic to living, implicit knowing is often overlooked precisely because it is implicit.”

That is what I am doing here, right now: having a sense of what is there, being felt in my body, pausing, allowing what is being felt in me the space it needs to find the words to form, and then words come in speech. For me this is a demonstration of ‘felt sensing’ in action.


Photo Credit: Michael Lux

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An Invitation to Pause ….

Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. And when our souls lie down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about” – Rumi

It is becoming quite obvious that the world as we know it is rapidly changing and that we are facing an uncertain future.  In challenging times like these, it feels increasingly important to take time to experience a dimension in us that is not touched and affected by what is going on around and within us.  This inner dimension does not disconnect us emotionally from what is happening but it allows us to rest and resource ourselves so that we can stay open and be more fully present to Life in the midst of so much contraction into anxiety.

Rumi’s poem above is an invitation to rest in this dimension – sometimes called “the underlying field of living Presence” – a sense of the aliveness felt within the body and around us as a nourishing Presence that holds and constantly resources us.  The more often you make time and space to felt sense this energy field of Presence or Being, the more you activate it and the more it can begin to emerge as a resource in your Focusing and daily life.

To “lie down in that grass” together with other people is what our monthly on-line Pause for Presence gatherings are all about.  It creates a palpable energy field of group Presence which allows you to experience Presence in a much deeper way than if you were on your own. Opening up to Life together in this way can also be “an oasis amidst all the world chaos of this present time”, as a recent participant described it.

The format of our 75-minute gatherings is simple.  After a brief guidance into Presence (for those who need it), we silently come to rest in “this underlying field of Presence”, letting ourselves “just be” – “beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing”.  There is also space for any sharing that wants to happen.  Our next on-line Pause for Presence gathering will be on October 17th and if you feel a “yes” to join, you are warmly welcome!

The details:

  • Time and date: Saturday 17th October from 4 pm to 5.15 pm BST (British Summer Time).
  • Venue: Zoom video conferencing platform. If you have no experience with Zoom, please let Cecelia know for necessary guidance.
  • Fee: £10 (by bank transfer) or £11 (by Paypal which includes £1 Paypal fee). It includes a free audio-recording of the guided sessions.
  • Email Cecelia Clegg at to register.
  • If you are unable to attend, you can still register to receive an audio-recording of the guided sessions for a £5 fee.

See you soon!

UK Wholebody Focusing trainers Addie van der Kooy and Cecelia Clegg.

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The Doors of Perception

By Kevin McEvenue

September 28, 2020

The doors of perception, a direct experience of something that keeps knocking on my door for attention.

This is the beginning of a new series I am proposing, something that has become a daily practice in my life that perhaps might be useful in other people’s lives too?

In the spirit of Wholebody Focusing and Heartfelt connecting, I want to give voice to something as an experience of a mind-body expression as it pauses to give space for words and thoughts to come together to form what is happening inside me right now. It seemed to come from a different place of thinking; thinking directly from a felt sense of an experience, rather than thinking about an experience that engages into a thought about what, why or how, etc. It really is a very different activity and seems to come from a very different location in the body, and very difficult to describe in words. Do you appreciate that there can be a difference between the two?

These are themes that come in me from time to time that seem to want my attention. They just want to be noticed and for me to make space for them to do so. To being felt, giving it some breathing room for it to inform me in some new way for my own well-being.

Today’s theme is on the nature of perception and how it seems to be a first response, a reaction coming from outside my world. What happens in me when I sense that or look for that? What do I do?

Do I image it first? Do I sense it first? Do I look for a right action? Or do I just act because I must?

This is what I am exploring today as my natural process in coming to know something freshly. Maybe you would like to join me here, something happening there in you too? Perhaps just the sound of a voice that points to something familiar?

Photo Credit: Michael Lux – Naples 2012

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Black Lives Matter Mural and Holding Both

I have begun to exit from my total COVID-19 lock down. My husband is a person at high risk for severe complications from COVID-19. We decided to stick to strict social distancing and other recommendations to keep both of us safe. Since New York City has reduced the number of infections significantly to below 1%, I’ve been venturing outside more.

During the height of the virus in New York, there were so many people protesting the death of George Floyd. We watched it from inside. A few days ago, I walked with a friend to Union Square in Manhattan, a central starting point of most demonstrations. There I found a colossal mural supporting Black Lives Matter. I was so moved by it I began filming with my cellphone to get a sense of it. I eventually went back with my video camera to record the experience. Here is what I found.

The artists divided the mural into two parts. On Union Square East, there are Black people’s names on grey painted plywood who have been killed by the police in the US and other countries. Feet and legs are moving forward from different cultures and places. It was, at once, a memorial to their lives and a celebration of their spirits. The grey tones also help one’s grief.

Around the corner On East 15th Street was something completely different. There were quotes by leaders of African American rights’ struggle on how to change these unjust situations from various decades. Once again, the plywood was grey, but the messages were is a bold and strong font. Not a scream, but a steady, honorable voice of encouragement to those who will struggle against this gaping in wound our society that has not yet been replaced with equal positive regard for all.

Here is what you will see if you come to New York City and walk around Union Square.

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Embodying the “We Space” On-Line Workshop

On-Line: 16 September 2020

How do we stay present in the  important relationships in our life? How do we stay connected to ourselves in the small and large moments that make up these relationships? What is possible when we slow down and take time to establish these connections in a deep and embodied way?

In this workshop Ruth, Bruna and Julian invite you to explore these questions by embodying  the “We Space.” This is a process of relearning how to be with yourself, with another person and with something that is greater.
It asks us to slow down and come into a deep and embodied connection with ourselves and each other. Once that connection is established we are capable of contacting the collective space in a more meaningful way.

Ruth, Bruna and Julian aim to reawaken the body’s  innate ability to communicate, sense , inform and  intuit.  They are also working towards a deep felt understanding of connection. These are fundamental human faculties. Practicing and relearning them can guide and support us through these chaotic times. They look forward to sharing this experience with you.

About the Facilitators

Ruth Friedman works as a well-being and stress management coach. She is also a Certified Whole Body Focusing Trainer with the Focusing Institute, New York. Ruth’s work is informed by her own life-long journey of self-discovery and awakening. It is the wish to share these gifts that motivates her work. She has been running workshops since 1998.

Bruna Blandino
 is a Certifying Coordinator of Focusing and a Wholebody Focusing Trainer for the Focusing Institute, New York. She works as a Psychosynthesis Counselor and teaches Focusing and Wholebody Focusing in Italy where she lives.

Julian Crotti started his career in Australia as a performing artist working in physical theater, dance and film. Since moving to Germany he has cultivated a practice centered on Whole Body Focusing. He has been studying and applying the technique for five years and it has inspired a new approach to his creativity as well as inspiring a series of workshops he has been offering to his local LGBTQ community.


Please make payment of €10 via PayPal to If you do not wish to use Paypal, please let us know when you register and we will send you information for making a bank transfer. Proceeds from the workshop will be donated to charity.

Joining the Workshop

We will use Zoom, the on-line conferencing software, to give this workshop. If you have not already done so, you can download the Zoom app to your computer or telephone free.

A day or two before the workshop, Andy will all paid participants the link for joining the workshop.

Date and Time

When Wednesday, 16 September 2020; Session will start at at 18:55 and the workshop will begin at 19:00 (18:00 BST, 13:00 EDT time). Please log in early.

Want to Attend?

Please reply to your invitation e-mail or follow this link to sign up for for this workshop. Please also make payment via Paypal (see above)

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Sintomi-La chiave di volta per prendere contatto Symptoms-the Key to Making Contact

Sintomi-La chiave di volta per prendere contatto.

Attraverso il Focusing, andremo a scoprire un nuovo approccio per portarci ad ascoltare i Sintomi
che il nostro corpo ci trasmettere quotidianamente a fronte di disagi, malesseri, disturbi.

Andremo ad onorare il Sintomo ospitandolo in uno spazio ampio, inconsueto spesso intangibile.
Il Sintomo è un indice: Segnale di una irregolarità del funzionamento ideale di un organismo, di cui conoscendolo meglio, sarebbe opportuno ascoltarlo al ne di farlo funzionare al meglio.

Non è un segnale da ignorare o pensare di eliminare senza permettergli di esprimere la sua voce.
Patrizia Mataloni, Paola Schiesaro hanno unito le loro esperienze e competenze iniziate nel 2017 per consolidare un approccio strutturato, organizzato e ripetibile,
nell’ambito di alcuni disagi che il nostro corpo aronta ogni giorno.A chi è rivolto?

A tutti quei Focalizzatori

attivi che hanno voglia dimettersi in discussione, ascoltare empaticamente e approcciare in un modo strutturato eventuali sintomi che il proprio corpo segnala e che la nostra mente si riuta di ascoltare.

Come e dove s’ impara?

L’apprendimento della metodologia è prettamente esperienziale supportato da alcuni studi nei diversi campi di riferimento e necessita di essere insegnata la tecnica attraverso delle sessioni teorico/pratiche. Al termine di ogni corso verrà rilasciato un attestato di frequenza a completamento del Corso.

L’attestato può essere usato per crediti ECP.

Struttura del Corso e Date:
modalità in presenza o anche via SKYPE/ZOOM

In presenza – 16/17 Ottobre 2020 Ore 9:00 -18:00 CEST Rivoli, Italy
OnLine – 07/08 Novembre 2020 Ore 9:30- 18:30 CEST
Min. partecipanti 6 Max 12
Luogo: LA CASA NELLA VIGNA Via Mongioie, 14/13 – Rivoli

Eventuali suggerimenti se necessario per chi volesse
fermarsi a dormire o non arriva da zone connanti.
Le Lezioni non possono essere recuperate frequentando parzialmente

Costo: 160€ se iscrizione eettuata e pagata entro il 30 Settembre 2020
Successivamente Settembre 180€.



Through Focusing, we will discover a new approach to lead us to listen to the symptoms
that our body provides to us every day in the face of discomfort, illness, ailments.

We will honor the Symptom by holding them in a large, unusual and often intangible space.

The symptom is an index: A sign of an irregularity in the ideal functioning of an organism, of which knowing it better, it would be helpful to listen to them in order to support our bodies.

It is not a signal to ignore or think about eliminating them without allowing them to express their voice.

Patrizia Mataloni, Paola Schiesaro have combined their experiences and skills started in 2017 to consolidate a structured, organized and reliable approach, in the context of some discomforts that our bodies suffer every day.

Who will benefit from this workshop?

All Focuser who are active people who want to, listen empathically and approach in a structured way any symptoms that their body signals and that our mind sometimes fails to listen.

How and where do you learn?

Learning the methodology is purely experiential supported by some studies in the various fields of reference and needs to be taught the technique through theoretical / practical sessions. At the end of each course, a certificate of attendance will be issued to complete the course.The certificate can be used for ECP credits.

Course Structure and Dates: 2-DAY MEETINGS
in person and also via SKYPE / ZOOM

In attendance – 16/17 October 2020 9:00 am – 6:00 pm CEST (Rivoli, Italy)
OnLine – 07/08 November 2020 9: 30- 18:30
Minimum Participants 6 Maximum 12.
Place: THE HOUSE IN THE VINEYARD Via Mongioie, 14/13 – Rivoli, Italy

Cost: € 160 if registration is completed and paid by 30 September 2020
Subsequently September 180 €.



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Make Peace with your Body

I would like to share with you a beautiful intunement between myself and my friend and colleague Sathi Roshan who will be co-hosting our upcoming Chaikhana meeting space with me.

CHAIKHANAs are traditional tea-houses in minor Asia( Afghanistan, tajikistan, uzbzkistan…..till Russia)

Symbolically for sufis, they represent a place to share and exchange knowledge.

For more details see or email

Gabe – or

Sathi –

My question that sparked this conversation was “how do we find the right next steps?”

This transcript is not word for word as the audio but was inspired by the Wholebody Heartfelt-sensing focusing conversation between us. There is the actual audio of the conversation at the end that you can use as an intunement.

Make peace with your body

Through many circumstances we have been cut off from our bodies
We need to learn to listen again to find our own inner wisdom
Our own right way forward.
Make peace with your body…
Come back home to your body, your inner compass, your centre…
Feel your feet on the ground…
Sense the contact with the floor…
Sense your knees – both your knees…
Your thighs
The contact with the chair
back of the chair
seat of the chair
Your sitting bones
Your hands – both your hands…
Your arms
Your shoulders
– all of that
You don’t have to change
You don’t have to relax
Just feel them…
Whatever is there
There might be sensations
There might be tensions
There might be warm, cold
There might be…..
Anything – everything is okay
Don’t try to change them
Don’t try to modify them
Just be conscious that they are there
And bring a sense of gratitude towards your body

This is a body from 50 -60 -70…. so many years
I am living in this body & I have so little consideration
For this body
This body is holding me
This body is supporting me
And I am always fighting with this body
Wanting it to be better
Wanting it to be different
Wanting it to be this and wanting it to be that
Let us make peace with this body
With gratitude
“Oh, thank you my body
Thank you for holding me”
Allow that sense of love for your body
It is something very important to
Feel that love for your body
Many people hate their body
Make peace with your body
This is a body that can give you children
Make you love
Feel joy
Experience all your senses
Feed your children
Feel how precious this body is
It is quite a miracle
Feel that – how precious it is
Many people have not discovered its possibilities
Like the felt sense
Some people will live 100 years and will die without even knowing what it is
Come back to your body with a sense of gratitude & love
Openness and acceptance
Start to acknowledge that your body is your best friend and that knows better than anybody outside Your body has the highest level of expertise , your felt sense, knows better than anybody else what is right for you
We have always been taught to seek outwards for knowledge, for right thing to do, for advice,
we have not learned to listen inside
It is not the fault of our parents, they didn’t know either
Its not a question of blaming them
It is that we haven’t learned to turn our attention inside & listen
Now we are learning to listen for inherent wisdom.
We are never completely cut off from our felt sense
Sometimes it is in the background – under all our learnings, knowledge, conditioning, shoulds and should nots
But fortunately, it is always there
This wisdom is always there
Let us bring it to the foreground
Let it shine
The more you listen to it the more it becomes confident the more it talks to you
The more you listen to it, have trust in this wisdom
The more it becomes more functional in each moment
It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year
Sometimes we need to retire in some silence
Maybe in a corner or a garden, a quiet space
It is like stars in the sky
In the city when its noisy and too bright, we don’t see the stars,
when we come back to the mountains or the countryside we see so many
When we are back in the widerness of our nature – without thoughts, without learnings & knowing’s
Without shoulds and should nots
– then there is a little silence and space so the star dust can be revealed – it was always there
Then slowly some stars become brighter & they can guide us
Certain stars become more in focus and new steps, new insights start to emerge as guidelines
That is your real guidance
We live in the world and there are a lot of distractions in the world
This is called meditation -to come back away from the distractions, to the silence and listen
When there is no distractions then you can only see the truth of yourself and your own direction
Your own wisdom will come to you
Sometimes we need to create this quiet around us – like a desert
We have to learn to listen with veneration, with patience, with our whole body to a little quiet voice inside.

Make Peace with your Body Intunement

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