Kevin begins by asking us to “find ourselves once again together.” It is a most luxurious invitation to take the time to explore who I am separate from all the normal static that is part of my life. To be with Me, I make room for the life in “what wants to be heard” and to help this part become aware of itself. This part is always functioning within me, however, it needs my consciousness to become aware of its own existence. I take all the time I need to find and spend time with Me as Me.
My Love has Radar. This felt sense recently showed up in my WBF meditation. My husband’s hospitalization had upset my world. I needed to spend more time in Grounded Presence to be with what was showing up. What came for me is that I have Love Radar for him—an ability to sense his essence, location, and needs.
When I was a young girl my cousin Barbara, who was seven years older than me, was my anchor. She was the person who loved me most, while the rest of my family made me feel as if they wished I didn’t exist. She was living through her own family difficulties, and I think we buoyed each other through tough times. Because of her family issues, Barbara often spent time with my family when school was not in session.
When Love Radar Shows Up
We shared a room, groomed each other, and read books together. We could depend on each other more than anyone else in our lives. When Barbara was away from me, I knew when she would be calling (before electronic phones, no caller ID.) The phone would ring, and I would answer, “Hi, Barbara!” And she would be baffled how I could know it was her. I didn’t know either. It was our secret.
I’ve always had a question for my body. How do I know what love feels like in me? One way is when I think of someone I love, I might cry for no reason. I would also cry when I thought about my torturers. So crying was immediate, but I am not so sure it was about love. It also seemed to feel like love when I wanted to help someone. I could “show” love to someone but sometimes wondered if that was what my family trained me to do—take care of others. So how do I identify my deepest love?
After I left my husband in the hands of the doctors in the Emergency Room last week, I went home to process what was happening. I was alone in our apartment. I needed to eat and relax and check in with my body about my fears, hopes, and complete exhaustion. As I was holding space for all this, something emerged. I was sending out energy signals to locate Michael and not receiving his location.
At first, I thought it was natural for our situation. However, the feeling of sending out a signal kept showing up over and over again. My energy was running a check and coming up empty. No Michael was near. It made me think about how I could read Barbara’s intention to call whenever she was away. Why was I able to predict when she would call? Why is my body searching for Michael’s body? It occurred to me these are two people who I love deeply. What is love for me? It is to have a self-guiding connection to those I love no matter where they are.
Love is Forever
Celebrating my elementary school Graduation with Barbara.
Barbara passed away in 2001 but she will reach out to me in dreams and emotions. When her son was in danger because his bosses put him in the line of fire at the beginning of COVID. I knew what she would say, “NO F!!??1G WAY IS MY SON IS DOING THAT!” I cried for days. They were not my tears. Only when that threat disappeared did the crying stop. It felt like her tears of anger and fear were passing through me.
Fortunately, my husband has returned from the hospital heartier. I have become aware of how this need to know his location is a continuous flow of energy that searches for him. My Love Radar reassures me that this love is real and exists no matter what else happens.
How do you know when your love for someone is genuine?
A critical block can be the emotional pain of the fear of not being loved or wanted. This type of despair might be a compelling presence in our lives.
Me & planet Earth sustain me. Out of nothing, something new emerges. Kevin connects us to one of his influences, Pierre de Chardin, who believed that we have a role to play in the expanding universe. We are a part of planet Earth, and it sustains life–even our lives. For example, we can sense the laws of gravity that help us function at every moment of our lives. This intunement is about the experience of our sense of self-connected to the Earth in grounded presence. More importantly, we need to know what might get in the way.
Not Planet Earth
A critical block can be the emotional pain of the fear of not being loved or wanted. This type of despair might be a compelling presence in our lives. If we make room for fear of nothingness, more comes. We need to endure the sense of nothing to allow something not of our own making to emerge.
Me and Plant Earth
In this intunement, Kevin takes us through how these ideas have an inherent connection to our Wholebody Focusing practice and how Kevin uses them to take what he learns about these connections to a new level. These nuances can enrich your practice of Wholebody Focusing.
Enjoy what emerges today listening to Kevin’s journey in connecting to planet Earth.
Photo Credit: Mohonk Mountain, NY at sunset Diana Scalera
It is very warm this morning. I have the overhead fan on to keep me cool. As I hear Kevin suggest that I connect to something outside myself I notice the sensation of the cool air on my skin. And then Kevin suggests that the sensation of something outside myself can be how my skin feels. He asks me to wait for something to come and I realize that my feet are already moving and my arms are wrapped around each other. My body is here with me today. Is there any goodness in me today? I wait for the answer. My thoracic spine releases the tension it was holding.
Kevin McEvenue explores Participatory Spirituality as a new experience of his ever evolving Wholebody Focusing Practice.
by Kevin McEvenue
Participatory Spirituality: I am introducing a new topic to be shared and explored together.
As I say the words out loud, I notice I stop! I feel confused—as though I don’t know what to think. I don’t know! I pause; I wonder.
I don’t panic or shutdown; I wonder as though I am curious. I am aware of both.
I stop and I notice, and then something comes into my awareness! It feels new—like a new direction—as though a door has been opened in this way of responding. And holding both with equal positive regard.
Something comes that is clearly unexpected and not of my own making. Body, mind, and an awakening that is not of my own making! This is what we will be exploring as this new direction takes us to a place we have not been before, a kind of engagement with life that seems very personal.
Please join me here in this new experience of myself as I explore what happens in me when I take this next step and then the next step, and then the one after that. It seems to have a life of its own. I am given a choice.
Just because it’s sometimes fun for me to brain-storm with mySelf
doesn’t mean that I’m obligated to.
Something in my body is recognizing the ways I storm my brain.
In this part of the conversation the excitement and experience of the practice of “Holding Both” naturally comes alive when you not only make space for a body sense of your suffering, but also include the bodily felt aliveness of “Me Here.”
Welcome to the third video blog of a heartfelt conversation between Kevin McEvenue and WBF trainer Addie van der Kooy. In this part of the conversation both share their excitement and experience of the practice of “Holding Both” – an inner dynamic that naturally comes alive when you not only make space for a body sense of your suffering, but also include the bodily felt connected-ness and aliveness of “Me Here.” This inner core muscle of Holding Both opens up new possibilities of deep healing and even transformation. Enjoy,
For those who would like to use the Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements that Kevin has provided to the blog for their practice, here is an easy way to find them on the blog. Below you will find an index of the three albums of intunements that are available. The three albums have different themes:
First Intunementsis for anyone who wants to start or become more proficient at Wholebody Focusing;
Coming Home is for anyone who has some basic understanding of Wholebody Focusing and wants to deepen their practice; and
Exploring the Unexplored is for anyone who wants to extend their practice in ways that they may not have yet experienced.
These Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements are here for your free use and enjoyment. Our greatest wish is that they bring healing into the lives the people who listen to them.
Please find the Audio Guiding Suggestion/Intunement you are interested in below. This list will be on the home page for three days.
After a new blog appears on the home page, you will be able to:
Use the “Search by Theme” menu and click on “Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements.” This index will be the first page that comes up. Just click on the links on this page and it will get you to the intunement for which you are searching.
You can also access this list on the Home Page menu option “Audio Guiding Suggestions/Intunements Index.” Once again, click on the name of the intunement, it will take you to the page where you will find it.
Painting by Kevin McEvenue