Peace in Me / Rauha minussa

Peace in me

Photo Credit: Cerro Santa Lucia in Santiago, Chile by Maria Hakasalo

I found peace in me. I sit in a subway in Santiago, Chile. My husband sits at the other end of the full car. I am worried. The next day we go in different directions. He will leave by himself for a backpacking trip to Paraguay, to Iguazu Falls in Brazil and later to Argentina, while I will spend a week in Punta de Tralca, Chile. I will be safe–his experience is an unknown. Who knows, it may even be a bit dangerous. Something in me is absolutely scared.

Finding Peace in Me

A man gets on the subway car with another man. They are  standing near the door. The man holds on to an adjacent bar. Noticing him, I suddenly start to feel my feet firmly against the floor of the car. Peace begins to rise up all over my body. I look at the man when he speaks to his companion.  Just an ordinary man about sixty years old carrying a briefcase in his hand. He’s taller than other men in the car.

I look at people around me curiously: could I find someone else with the same peace in their face and in their whole appearance? Not a soul.

After a while, the man leaves the subway. Deep peace in me does not disappear.

This experience reminds me of focusing, when I am with issues, thoughts or feelings that can arise, there is resistance, fear, and hardening in me. When I pay attention to the support of the floor, the chair, the environment, the listener, I start to feel my grounded presence and me here that is completely safe and peaceful.

Later, I realize that the peace of that man resonated with the peace that was just hidden somewhere in me at that moment. There is a peace in me, and I can find it even in a painful moment.

I can feel the same when listening to Kevin’s attunement at:

Looking for the Life Support to Move Forward the Complexity of a Growing Me?

Istun metrovaunussa Santiagossa, Chilessä. Puolisoni istuu toisessa päässä täyttä vaunua. Olen huolissani. Seuraavana päivänä me menemme eri suuntiin. Hän lähtee yksin reppureissailemaan Paraguayhin, ja Iguassun putouksille sekä Brasilian että Argentiinan puolelle samaan aikaan, kun minä vietän viikon Punta de Tralcassa, Chilessä. Minä olen turvassa, hän tuntemattomassa, kuka tietää, jopa vaarallisessa paikassa. Joku minussa on todella peloissaan.

Metrovaunuun nousee mies toisen miehen kanssa. He jäävät seisomaan oven suulle. Mies ottaa tukea viereisestä tangosta. Kun näen hänet, alan yhtäkkiä tuntea jalkapohjani tukevasti vaunun lattiaa vasten. Rauha alkaa nousta ylöspäin koko kehooni. Katson miestä, kun hän puhuu toiselle. Aivan tavallinen mies, noin kuudenkymmenen ikäinen salkku kädessään. Pidempi kuin moni mies ympärillään.

Katson ihmisiä ympärilläni uteliaana: löytyisikö joku toinenkin, jonka kasvoista ja koko olemuksesta huokuisi sama rauha kuin miehestä vierelläni. Ei ketään.

Jonkun ajan päästä mies poistuu metrosta. Minussa asuva syvä rauha ei häviä.

Tämä kokemus muistuttaa fokusointia. Sitä, kuinka olen asioiden, ajatusten tai tunteiden kansssa, jotka voivat herättää minussa vastustusta, pelkoa, jähmettymistä. Kun vien huomion lattian, tuolin, ympäristön ja kuuntelijani antamaan tukeen, alan tuntea, kuinka jalkani juurtuvat maahan ja löydän sen osan minusta, joka on täysin turvassa, jolla on täysi rauha vain olla.

Myöhemmin oivallan, että miehen rauha resonoi minussa itsessäni sillä hetkellä piiloutuneena olleen rauhan kanssa. Minussakin on se rauha, ja voin löytää sen kipeälläkin hetkellä.

Kevinin harjoitus vie minut tähän samaan tunnelmaan. Löydät sen täältä

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4 thoughts on “Peace in Me / Rauha minussa”

  1. Thanks you for adding that part of finding ‘grounding’ as a place of peace that is palpable as you notice someone over there who seems to be at peace with themselves. A very powerful source of good energy when you needed it. How we are so connected with ourselves and other people, and some out there can support our lives and others not. It is being able to discern and have the courage to get what we need from that over there place in other people! that is supportive of me in here, in me as I needed it right now. Kevin

  2. Dear Maria,

    There is so much I love about what you wrote. As an urbanite, I know that a trip on public transportation leaves you with the ability to use your time to ground an observe the results. This was a great example. We don’t have to be in the middle of a forest. In a subway car you are surrounded by all sorts of energy and it can support you in ways one might never know until you experience it yourself.

    I also like how you found a resource outside yourself to support your worry about what the next right step for your husband might include. Our partners often need things that may put them out of our control or protection and we need to be okay with that so their fullness is allowed the space it needs to thrive.

    Finally, what a concept to really feel that there is an inherent part of you that is peaceful and can be found and experienced irrespective of what is happening outside of you.

    All it all took place on a subway ride!!

  3. Hi Maria,

    I republished this post because it was what I needed to remember. Peace is in us. Even if we can find it, we can acquire it from a source outside ourselves. I connected to your fear of your husband’s safety. My husband is currently in the hospital, post-COVID, with severe COPD. Unfortunately, It has exasperated his condition. I am sobbing inside.

    When I went to see him today, he was initially terrified by the treatment he was getting. The oxygen source was screeching alarms that no one responded to, and his mask was leaking, making blasting noises.

    After getting someone to turn down the alarms and better manage the mask, I began sending Reiki to his feet. He fell asleep and stayed asleep for quite a while. After the end of this treatment session, his vitals improved, and he could better communicate his needs. We were able to make each other laugh at the insanity of the moment. Peace and love were in us, and no situation can take that away.

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