Who am I? Kevin asks.
And then he adds something: “…to receive information about me from a place that’s actually larger than I think myself to be.
Right away, I hear something within. It’s so loving. It’s addressing me, telling me something. I know right away that I will not share it here in this preamble. I won’t risk it.
Then my throat tightens and is a bit painful, knowing that I have something I won’t share with others. I’ve decided I can’t tell someone else what I heard from a place that’s larger than I think myself to be. Even though what I heard was totally loving.
Then I hear Kevin say: “….let that be felt, that sense of desire to know, who I am….and step back…”
There’s a billowing out in my body. A sharp pain in my right shoulder. I sit back and ask the question again, and something in my throat tightens again. Tears come, that don’t express one emotion but a cloud of emotion.
And now I change my mind: I’ll tell you one part of what came—it answered that I am beloved.
And I notice how hard it is to tell you that.
2 thoughts on “Who Am I?”
Who I am??
Nice, I found a tenderness place within, when I hear you finding you.
Listening to you…, receiving You who are asking ‘who am I?’ on a day when I am finally in my Body for the first time in 6 weeks. I, in my Body, within the container of Me, feeling the lightness of Presence that has been absent.
And as I received You asking yourSelf ‘who am I?’ the question that came for me was ‘HOW am I?’ For recently it’s occurred to me that until I can begin sensing into the HOW I am, I lack a means to move toward asking WHO I am. And while you deepened into and within yourSelf, finding a place of tears that surprised you, I was able to continue moving more deeply into the HOW of me. The HOW of me which has recently been missing, struggling, not able to find itSelf. Being accompanied by you in your exploration allowed me to be supported by you even as our “excavations” differed.
To call them “excavations”, tho, has a barbarity to it—as if large, earth-moving equipment had come in to tear away at the ground. Whereas what We were doing, you and I together/differently, was more like the delicacy of archaeology—moving gently and carefully as we delicately dusted away the residue that had been hiding a Something. Able to move within a larger Something—a container?—within which resides a Something not-yet-revealed…, but ready to be contacted, connected-with only by the right kind of gentleness, the right kind of ‘tool’ that can softly remove residue, debris.
Today you arrived at feelings that held and revealed tears—the Who you ARE. While I arrived at a different sort of fullness-of-Self—my HOW. And yet without your Presence I would have lacked the Container that allowed me to arrive at my own findings.
Thank you for guiding me.