Tag: #healingtrauma

Finding Life Fully Inside Me as Me!

Kevin begins by asking us to “find ourselves once again together.”  It is a most luxurious invitation to take the time to explore who I am separate from all the normal static that is part of my life.  To be with Me,  I make room for the life in “what wants to be heard” and to help this part become aware of itself.  This part is always functioning within me, however, it needs my consciousness to become aware of its own existence.  I take all the  time I need to find and spend time with Me as Me.

Diana Scalera

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Paused to be Love

I purchased a fist-sized Fluorite crystal selecting a particular one by holding them in my hands to see which one had the strongest vibration for me. I chose the one that lifted my hand up and down.

Photo by Diana Scalera

Recently, Kevin and I have been exploring. Participatory Spirituality. it reminded me of the blog Pause to be Love.   It is a story of holding space with others in a way that leads us to experience a positive felt sense unexpectedly. Kevin McEcenue and I decided to start writing more about Whole Body Focusing when Particiatory  Spiritual is present.  It  draws us into situations in which our interactions with others stimulate our our need for Participatory Spirituality.

Change Your Mind

The first day of Spring gave me a lovely present. In New York City, the weather was mild and sunny. It was a beautiful day to walk around my neighborhood.

I walked toward my favorite organic grocery store in the East Village when I came across an old school building. It was converted in 1980 into a performance art workshop operated by the artists.

I used to live across the street from this building and went to many avant-garde performances there. It was in a constant state of disrepair and construction then. A few years ago, the building underwent a $37 million gentrification makeover and was taken over by a prestigious art institution in NYC. I never even considered going inside. I felt that it was part of the general destruction of a neighborhood that was once cheap enough for anyone to live in and had supported a broad range of art and life.

Change Happens

As I walked by, I paused to be with this new incarnation of the building. There were inviting signs announcing some new performances, and I decided to go in. I spoke to the people at the front desk and learned that there was a multimedia exhibition open to the public on the political nature of cells. I spent some time with this exhibit. My favorite part was watching a video of the sun’s rays shining on the particles in the air we breathe. It was called “This Is Your Living Room.”

I also got a chance to use the bathroom there. It was gender neutral with multiple stalls. This new architectural adaptation felt right to me and was needed to reduce gender bias.

While I am sad that I may never see the likes of Penny Arcade’s outspoken rants or Bina Sharif’s insightful plays in this building again, I got a chance to see that there is something here that does support art and life.

Try a Little Kindness

When I got to the newly-opened organic grocery, I noticed a Latino man in his forties putting vegetables on the shelf. He looked familiar to me. As I paused with that sense of familiarity, I asked him if he had worked in a different grocery store in the neighborhood. He had, and said that the store had closed. I hadn’t seen him in years. What made me remember was his kindness.  I felt delighted that he was now working in this new, well-run store and wished him well in his new job. I needed to pause, because I recognized someone with whom I rarely interacted, simply because his kindness was always so present.

Good Vibrations

As I walked back home, I realized I wanted to pick up a plant for my apartment. There is a fantastic store, EviFlorist, run by a family of Latin Americans who have in-depth knowledge and skill with plants. They also have a fabulous collection of gems and can help their customers select plants and crystals to enrich their lives.

The moment you are near the store, you feel the vibrational energy increase. There are so many plants and gems that every breath you take raises your own energy levels. The hyacinth drew my attention. It was just beginning to bloom. Wha talso attracted my attention were the crystals. I needed to bring this kind of energy into my life. I held the fist-sized Fluorite crystal in my hands to see which one had the strongest vibration for me. The Crystal made my hands vibrate up and down, I was sold.

Big Yellow Taxi

As I happily left the store with my purchases, I realized that I couldn’t carry the groceries, the plant, and the crystal all the way home, and I searched for a cab.

I have a sure-fire way to get a cab in NYC. Instead of using my cell phone, I sing a song to myself, inviting a cab driver to find me. Within 30 seconds, I was in a cab. The driver was a man who wore a Sikh turban. I noticed that he was stressed.

I let him know that I was grateful to him for finding me with all these packages and that I was not concerned with the traffic. He relaxed. I saw that he was a very young man who was struggling with the pressures of being a cab driver in NYC. By the time we got to my apartment, he finally noticed me. He eventually offered to help me with my bags, and we wished each other a good day.

When I was walking into my apartment building, I found a name for this experience—the Magical Mystery Tour. Equally important, I appreciated the pauses for Love with everyone I met that day.

Sister Hazel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y944YxuE1OU

Glenn Campbell  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvswocNN-g8

Beach Boys  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eab_beh07HU

Joni Mitchel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94bdMSCdw20

Beatles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8WMGBuNaus

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This is Your Blog

WE have over 250 topics realated to Wholebody content. If you want to learn about this practice this blog is a good pace to start.

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Welcome to our blog

This is your Blog. Your can read the articles, use them as a guide for your practice,  and share them with friends.

We thank everyone who has participated in reading, commenting, liking, sharing, and writing for our blog. Diana Scaleara created the blog to provide the Wholebody Focusing Community with an open online forum to participate in a Heartfelt Conversation.

We encourage our readers to comment on our content

Diana Scalera is a student of Kevin McEvenue, the originator of Wholebody Focusing. A team of readers and writers fills the blog with content. These WBF trainers are among the contributors. They are Wholebody Focusers and teachers who have studied with Kevin McEvenue, Karen Whalen, Addie Van Der Kooy, Rosa Catoio, and Bruna Blundello,  Direct Encounter, and Maria Hakasalo.

 Coment on the Article You Read

We started this process because we saw a need in our own lives for a way to stay connected to the Wholebody Focusing and Heartfelt Conversation practices that we have learned. This blog is part of a coordinated effort to create sustainable resources that help WBFers connect and provide multiple ways to keep our shared conversation moving forward. We are fortunate to have Kevin McEvenue, the founder of Wholebody Focusing, as our mentor and primary advocate. He frequently replies to posts when something in them moves him.

The Blog is for our readers to learn more about Wholebody Focusing and to share experiences with others.

This blog is for our readers. There are no financial interests or ads involved. No one is selling anything, and participation is open to all readers. This is a  opertunity to interact with others who practice Wholebody focusing.  The goal is to strengthen everyone’s practice for a deeper experience.

Recently, we have seen a growth in the popularity of the Blog.  We have readers in more than 79 countries across the Americas, Europe, the Middle East, India, the subcontinent, and the Pacific Rim.  Share the blog with your friends,.

Continue reading “This is Your Blog”

What Has Come for Me Here

Paul Through the Window
Paul through the Window by Kevin McEvenue

I have been reflecting on how what has been shared—in this kind of Heartfelt Communication with one another—has felt so good for me. I’m thinking of the recent sense of connection that speaks from direct experience that has awakened something in each of the lives that are giving voice—or describing—their direct experience of something real and something worthwhile for them to communicate with themselves and to share with each other.

I remember that I would often say, “That touches me. Your words—or your voice—touches me deeply.”

So I’m wondering, what do I mean by that? What does that mean? “What you share here touches me deeply.” And I can feel that right now.  In my heart.  In my belly.  In my thighs. It’s a kind of warmth, a kind of loving and a kind of wanting that seems to touch a kind of an awakening of a desire in me that’s already there.

Continue reading “What Has Come for Me Here”

Mr. Deer and Me

Mr Deer

I offer a moment-to-moment description of a grounded presence experience that I had with a deer as we both walked through the woods. This example highlights an important Wholebody Focusing practice–holding a “we” space for partners.  It also shows how we can have a “we” space with any other sentient being and how both of us are impacted by the relational space they create together.

There he was, Mr. Deer, quietly but unexpectedly just over there. In fact, he was just beyond the clearing of the forest as I began my own walk. I was taking a break from a training that wasn’t going well for me. I wanted to enjoy a walk in the forest to find a grounded sense of myself again.

That is when it happened, that encounter with Mr. Deer. It seemed to startle both of us so unexpectedly. It was a surprise, yes, and startling? Maybe for a split second we both knew that something felt different here and so we seemed to pause and take in the moment with curiosity. It was that pause that seemed to change everything because we both took some space to take in what might be happening that felt so different from what we were used to. What was that? What made us stop and take a moment to become aware of the something that felt new here?

I can’t speak for Mr. Deer. He has his own sense of what was happening in him. For me, as a reflective human creature that I am, I realized I was in a good place. Usually I walk through a forest without really taking much in. But this time I felt differently. I was enjoying this moment of peace and enjoying myself in this wooded environment.

Continue reading “Mr. Deer and Me”

What does my body need now?

Wholebody Focusing Haiku # 15
Being with the pain
That is trauma residue
Takes grounding and love.

Photo Credit: Anonymous

How Haiku helps

What does my body need now? Frequently writing Haiku about my WBF discoveries not only helps me document what is emerging but also helps me to sustain the new healing.

As I was preparing for bed a few weeks ago, I noticed that I felt defeated. There were so many challenges that made me anxious and fearful that I wondered if it were useless to try to sleep. My husband and I have been experiencing serious health problems for the last year and a half and it felt exhausting to be in this place.

The words “what does my body need now?” came to me. I thought I would give it a try.  As I got into bed, I felt into my body as I asked this question. My hands moved. They landed crossed, on my upper chest with my hands near my shoulders. It felt so comfortable and comforting. The next thing I remembered is that I woke up at 6:00 AM. I had slept through the night and my hands were still in this position. It was as if I had given myself a seven hour Reiki treatment.

Asking My Body

In the days following, I noticed a shift. When a situation arose, I didn’t have to “check” in with my body what it needed. The answer was just there.

“Did I want to work on taxes right now?”

“No! I needed to finish my film project.”

“Did I want to be part of a committee to make important decisions?”

“No! I just wanted to play.”

“Could I take on a new responsibility?”

“No! I had to organize myself to be with the responsibilities that were already here.”

I am noticing ME as my first reaction to a situation. It is coming from my body and out my mouth before I can get a chance to filter it. In the past, when someone wanted me to do something, I would usually say yes first and think about it later. That caused a lot of stress because, while I may come to know how I really feel about something later, I would never want to renege on my agreement to take on a responsibility.

The body needs what it needs

Old feelings emerged. Was I being selfish? Would this new assertion of my needs alienate people?  These are the same feelings that lead me to say yes to most of what people asked of me, however, now I was having them after I declined to do the whatever was asked of me. I had the opportunity to see in real time what the result was of my going with what my body needed. Here are some respones from ohters. Sometimes people were surprised or amused or agreed that I needed to take care of myself. No one has disowned me or started to not return my calls. These Haikus helped me feel  less stress and anxiety because I was doing what my body needed rather than what others might want of me.

Writing about what comes for us in any format supports our WBF work by continuing the healing that is already in progress. I encourage all who read this blog to share their own experiences with shifts and new ways of living. You can do this as a contributor to the blog

Haiku to Find Myself

15 
Being with the pain
That is trauma residue
Takes grounding and love.

16 
When there are stressors
Allowing movement steadies
The nervous system

17
When progress is made
New shifts need to be noticed
So that they can stay

 18 
When good things happen
I hold space for all that comes
With an open heart

 19
When challenges pop
And there is nowhere to go
Go inside and move!

 20
What does my heart need?
Slowing down to listen now
This is new to me

21
When upset, I ask
What does my body need now?
Then I notice me

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11 Ways to connect with yourself

We AreBeing Ourselves

Bruna Blandino and Rosa Catoio Are Being Themselves. These  Italian Wholebody focusers, met to discuss how Wholebody focusing and Heartfelt Conversation has changed their lives.  Rather than being who society and their families want them to be, Wholebody Focusing and Heartfelt Conversation has given them a mechanism to live more fully in their own truth.  Watch their video to hear how this has come about.

If you are having difficulty seeing this video in full screen, please click on the You Tube link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKpB86qG-PI

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The Pine and I

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Photo Credit: Ana Simeon

Maybe it has happened to you, too, that small secret moment of intimacy with a non-human creature. It’s a powerful experience yet easily dismissed by the mind. The one I want to tell you about happened on a trail in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada in northern California. It is a rocky, spare place, steep and windswept and intensely alive. High on a ridge above a mountain lake, the trail weaves among pines and Douglas Fir growing singly or in small groups, huddled around granite boulders. On a hot late September afternoon, their combined scent rose like incense; the air was charged with it. I walked briskly, enjoying the vigorous motion and the give of the trail surface, changing from rock to needles to bare earth to patches of coarse grasses. I became keenly aware of an added dimension, the arrangement of bodies in the middle distance, so often lost in our habitual focus on panoramic views. I mean by that the sense of my body mass relative to trees and boulders, the way trees stood in twos or threes or alone; a pine and boulder together; or the way the boughs formed a screen so that only slivers of blue were visible, and then suddenly parted to allow a full view of distant peaks. My steps slowed to a walk as I absorbed this new pleasure. My hand reached to touch the furry patch of lichen on a granite boulder, the deep furrow of Douglas Fir bark. I put my arms around a Jeffrey Pine, maybe my age in pine years, glowing deep red in the late afternoon light. I laid my cheek against the bark and was enveloped in a light, sweet aroma, like vanilla, very different from the more pungent “conifer” fragrance that rose from the forest as a whole. (I read later that pines, and especially Jeffrey Pines, are unique among North American conifers in distilling this vanilla-like scent.) There we stood for a long while, the pine and I, in a timeless embrace of arms and branches, skin and bark, one breath.

In her book, “The Legacy of Luna”, activist Julia Butterfly Hill describes her relationship with the giant redwood in whose canopy she lived for more than two years in order to save it from being logged. Hill is positive that Luna knew Hill was there to save it, and gave her support in its tree-ish way. Similarly, with my arms around the pine, I felt very strongly, from the tree, a wave of –  encouragement? Support? Was the pine hugging me back? These are human terms and they don’t quite fit. I felt that the pine and the land it sprang from were holding me up, wanted me to continue my work to save the Peace Valley in my home province of British Columbia from being dammed. I was being offered a gift – an experience of joy and unity, and something more: confirmation, confidence and strength to persevere in my work. Joy and gratitude buoyed me as I walked back to the cabin.

Looking back, a year and a half later, I see how this moment marked a turn in my work on the Peace River campaign. I felt invigorated, emboldened and supported. My health and energy improved and I was able to take on tasks that would have daunted me before. At the same time, I remained very much aware that the ultimate outcome is beyond my control. I was not “saving” the Peace – not by myself, not even all of us together. We cannot save anyone or anything. The Peace river has its own path. That path, like the path of other beings, may include wounding and suffering. All any of us can do is allow the land to become alive in us, and then act from that place.

In a culture less rigidly dualistic than the one that dominates our time, I believe experiences like this would be accepted by the society at large as valid and true. I feel gratitude that moments like these are still able to shine through the cultural conditioning that has been instilled in western peoples over generations, dividing nature from spirit and denying spirit to other creatures. What an impoverishment! Experiences like these bring incredible abundance and depth to our lives. They are our true birthright.

@Ana Simeon

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