Something against you – or me? / Jotain sinua vastaan – vai minua?

Photo credit: Maria Hakasalo

As I was working on my focusing book, I was listening to music–something random from You Tube. Next thing that I noticed was how I was criticizing the singer’s vocal technique. I had just written about some painful school memories when a sense of isolation emerged.  I also noticed how I was compensating for those feelings by thinking I was being better than others.

Suddenly I understood the connection between feeling isolated and compensating by finding fault in others. Instead of facing the something in me that didn’t feel accepted, I criticized the You Tube singer. I  compensated for my own pain by pretending to be skillful, successful and perfect.  This is what I did as a child who felt isolated.

As I sat next to the small child in me who was feeling the pain I said to her: “You can be as you are, small, painful, sometimes competent, sometimes incompetent. You do not need to be perfect or look like it..”

I sighed deeply and noticed that something in me released.

Do you want to get in touch with the part in you that is not feeling alright? You can listen to one of Kevin’s intunements at https://wholebodyfocusing.blog/2018/10/19/something-is-not-right/

When listening I could feel a firm lump in my stomach which softened after I listened to the following intunement. It helped me to be tenderly present with the felt sense in my stomach: https://wholebodyfocusing.blog/2018/07/19/an-active-meditation-to-welcome-what-wants-to-present-itself-for-your-attention/

***

Kun kirjoitan fokusointikirjaa, kuuntelen välillä musiikkia, tällä kerralla jotain satunnaista Youtubesta. Kirjoittamisen lomassa havaitsin arvostelevani laulajan laulutapaa. Olin juuri kirjoittanut kipeistä koulumuistoista, erillisyyden tunteestani ja kuinka pyrin kompensoimaan sitä näyttämällä paremmalta kuin muut.

Continue reading Something against you – or me? / Jotain sinua vastaan – vai minua?

Melting Point / Sulamispiste

Photo Credit: Maria Hakasalo

MELTING POINT

A judging mind
who crush and shrink, burden and destroy
You come out from the nooks of my mind
seizing me with full of shame
Could I shake you off so that no one notices
how dark and ugly you are?

Welcome, judging mind
Welcome home
Welcome to my arms, welcome to be seen
Welcome to the warmth of my embrace
to the shine of the sun

there you soften
forget your job
begin to melt and love

Continue reading Melting Point / Sulamispiste

Brave enough? / Uskallanko?

Photo credit: Maria Hakasalo

BRAVE ENOUGH?

My hands
Stretched out far away from my body
sad and lonely
Overloaded
Asking, do I suffice, am I good enough

My feet
Marching
Every step hearing a drum cadence repeating
Lazybones Lazybones Lazybones

I will show you I am not a lazybones! I’ll do and do and do!!!
Even though I am too tired of doing anything

Something in me
Gently raises a question
Are you Brave
Are you Brave enough to think
I will lead you where you need to be?

Am I?

Continue reading Brave enough? / Uskallanko?