Recovery Self-Awareness

Each time I treated my suffering part as an entity unto itself, I had room to manage my medical experience better because I wasn’t occupied by worry and fear. 

Part II Recovery

Self-Awareness comes in different ways.  As a young woman, I knew I wanted to work in  education.  I also had a great desire to become a filmmaker. Inspired by my work with students in my school’s TV studio, I realized that I needed more training.  I began studying Method acting with a teacher trained by the “father of Method Acting”, Lee Strasberg.  This is one of the benefits of living in NYC. The basis of Method acting teaches the practioner to develop a very deep level of self-awareness.   We were taught to use our imagination to invoke the emotional state of the characterwe would become. For example, one connects to  a particular emotional state in one’s life that resembles the character’s emotional state and uses it to become the character. It is a different and potent pathway to the felt sense.

Self-Awareness

Method Acting  helped me  learn how to  access emotions, and their physical manifestations (change in heart rate, sweating, etc) and. For a focuser one can access the emotional state of a part of the body. The Method practice can  help a focuser to become aware of one’s capacity to connect to any part of one’s body that needs your attention. When I began studying Focusing, these method skills were very valuable.  Only this time I was connecting to my body parts’ experienceto learn more about them instead of using them to become somone else.

Recovery Self-Awareness

Kevin and I continued to work together helping me to hold space for the suffering of the parts of my body that would need to be removed.  As we continued our investigation into my body’s experience of itself I learned to be more compassionate of the effected parts of my body and less anxious about “future scenarios” that had been occupying my thoughts since the decision to go forward with the surgery to remove the right salivary gland.   

Time  to create a plan of action to get me through this experience began to take form.  Living in NYC gives you access to high quality medical care but, it makes getting family and friends together to coordinate care needs from their vastly differing locations.  I created a system on my cell phone that would support everyone wanting information about the progress of the surgery and the  recovery.  I taught a friend who would be at the hospital with me to be in charge of the cell phone. It was a simple system to able to communicate with me and family and friends on the day of the surgery and notify various groups who wanted to be part of my support community support.  

Missing Parts Self-Awareness

When I returned home, had nerve damage that limited the functioning of my mouth, I was in the state of shock. I had very little control food in my mouth and I kept biting my numb lip. There also was massive swelling.  It felt like I had been beaten up..  My first salivary gland extraction had none of the symptoms.  Rage was my main emotion.  I wondered if I had had an incompetent surgeon. With the help of Chinese herbs, Acupuncture and homeopathis remedies for pain and nerve damage, the new changes in my body started to more closely function in ways that helped me function.  

Making space for the missing parts helped me to have room to remember that I am not alone and that I have access to an a vast network of alternative options to help my recover. I began to take advantage of those resources. This put the control of my outcomes back in my hands

Recovery

Each time I treated my suffering part as an entity unto itself, I created room to manage my medical experience. It helped reduce my worry and fear.  Recovery Self-Awareness helped me remember that even I had no viable alternative to the surgery. I did have the resources to manage the effects of the surgery.  In addition, I had to wait more than three weeks to get the final “no cancer” results.  The lesion I had was rare, which made the process longer than usual. I asked the affected area if there was any cancer.  It told me, “No!” It helped me let go of the importance of the biopsy report. I eventually received the report ‘no further treatment was needed.’  It was essential to get the medical results, but my connection with the surgical site helped me to get through the waiting.

WFB allows us to short circut the negative throughts that can overwhelm us as we go through necessary medical procedures.  We can fill that space with a connection to the part of us that needs treatment, will be removed, or will take curative medications that can have strong side effects.  By becoming aware of its suffering, acknowledge the ill part’s  existance, show it compassion and kindness, we can have a direct experience of healing.

Method Acting

Loving Kindness Changes the World

 

Disclaimer:  This article is a guide to using Wholebody Focusing as a guide to emotional, and spiritual support when one is experiencing a medical condition.  It does not claim to have curative powers.

We AreBeing Ourselves

Bruna Blandino and Rosa Catoio Are Being Themselves. These  Italian Wholebody focusers, met to discuss how Wholebody focusing and Heartfelt Conversation has changed their lives.  Rather than being who society and their families want them to be, Wholebody Focusing and Heartfelt Conversation has given them a mechanism to live more fully in their own truth.  Watch their video to hear how this has come about.

If you are having difficulty seeing this video in full screen, please click on the You Tube link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKpB86qG-PI

To leave or read a comment, click here and go past the end of the post.

The Pine and I

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Photo Credit: Ana Simeon

Maybe it has happened to you, too, that small secret moment of intimacy with a non-human creature. It’s a powerful experience yet easily dismissed by the mind. The one I want to tell you about happened on a trail in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada in northern California. It is a rocky, spare place, steep and windswept and intensely alive. High on a ridge above a mountain lake, the trail weaves among pines and Douglas Fir growing singly or in small groups, huddled around granite boulders. On a hot late September afternoon, their combined scent rose like incense; the air was charged with it. I walked briskly, enjoying the vigorous motion and the give of the trail surface, changing from rock to needles to bare earth to patches of coarse grasses. I became keenly aware of an added dimension, the arrangement of bodies in the middle distance, so often lost in our habitual focus on panoramic views. I mean by that the sense of my body mass relative to trees and boulders, the way trees stood in twos or threes or alone; a pine and boulder together; or the way the boughs formed a screen so that only slivers of blue were visible, and then suddenly parted to allow a full view of distant peaks. My steps slowed to a walk as I absorbed this new pleasure. My hand reached to touch the furry patch of lichen on a granite boulder, the deep furrow of Douglas Fir bark. I put my arms around a Jeffrey Pine, maybe my age in pine years, glowing deep red in the late afternoon light. I laid my cheek against the bark and was enveloped in a light, sweet aroma, like vanilla, very different from the more pungent “conifer” fragrance that rose from the forest as a whole. (I read later that pines, and especially Jeffrey Pines, are unique among North American conifers in distilling this vanilla-like scent.) There we stood for a long while, the pine and I, in a timeless embrace of arms and branches, skin and bark, one breath.

In her book, “The Legacy of Luna”, activist Julia Butterfly Hill describes her relationship with the giant redwood in whose canopy she lived for more than two years in order to save it from being logged. Hill is positive that Luna knew Hill was there to save it, and gave her support in its tree-ish way. Similarly, with my arms around the pine, I felt very strongly, from the tree, a wave of –  encouragement? Support? Was the pine hugging me back? These are human terms and they don’t quite fit. I felt that the pine and the land it sprang from were holding me up, wanted me to continue my work to save the Peace Valley in my home province of British Columbia from being dammed. I was being offered a gift – an experience of joy and unity, and something more: confirmation, confidence and strength to persevere in my work. Joy and gratitude buoyed me as I walked back to the cabin.

Looking back, a year and a half later, I see how this moment marked a turn in my work on the Peace River campaign. I felt invigorated, emboldened and supported. My health and energy improved and I was able to take on tasks that would have daunted me before. At the same time, I remained very much aware that the ultimate outcome is beyond my control. I was not “saving” the Peace – not by myself, not even all of us together. We cannot save anyone or anything. The Peace river has its own path. That path, like the path of other beings, may include wounding and suffering. All any of us can do is allow the land to become alive in us, and then act from that place.

In a culture less rigidly dualistic than the one that dominates our time, I believe experiences like this would be accepted by the society at large as valid and true. I feel gratitude that moments like these are still able to shine through the cultural conditioning that has been instilled in western peoples over generations, dividing nature from spirit and denying spirit to other creatures. What an impoverishment! Experiences like these bring incredible abundance and depth to our lives. They are our true birthright.

@Ana Simeon

To read or leave a comment please click on the word Comments next to or under the photo at top left-hand-side of this page.

Peace in Me / Rauha minussa

Photo Credit: Cerro Santa Lucia in Santiago, Chile by Maria Hakasalo

I found peace in me. I sit in a subway in Santiago, Chile. My husband sits at the other end of the full car. I am worried. The next day we go in different directions. He will leave by himself for a backpacking trip to Paraguay, to Iguazu Falls in Brazil and later to Argentina, while I will spend a week in Punta de Tralca, Chile. I will be safe–his experience is an unknown. Who knows, it may even be a bit dangerous. Something in me is absolutely scared.

Finding Peace in Me

A man gets on the subway car with another man. They are  standing near the door. The man holds on to an adjacent bar. Noticing him, I suddenly start to feel my feet firmly against the floor of the car. Peace begins to rise up all over my body. I look at the man when he speaks to his companion.  Just an ordinary man about sixty years old carrying a briefcase in his hand. He’s taller than other men in the car.

I look at people around me curiously: could I find someone else with the same peace in their face and in their whole appearance? Not a soul.

After a while, the man leaves the subway. Deep peace in me does not disappear.

This experience reminds me of focusing, when I am with issues, thoughts or feelings that can arise, there is resistance, fear, and hardening in me. When I pay attention to the support of the floor, the chair, the environment, the listener, I start to feel my grounded presence and me here that is completely safe and peaceful.

Later, I realize that the peace of that man resonated with the peace that was just hidden somewhere in me at that moment. There is a peace in me, and I can find it even in a painful moment.

I can feel the same when listening to Kevin’s attunement at:

Looking for the Life Support to Move Forward the Complexity of a Growing Me?


Istun metrovaunussa Santiagossa, Chilessä. Puolisoni istuu toisessa päässä täyttä vaunua. Olen huolissani. Seuraavana päivänä me menemme eri suuntiin. Hän lähtee yksin reppureissailemaan Paraguayhin, ja Iguassun putouksille sekä Brasilian että Argentiinan puolelle samaan aikaan, kun minä vietän viikon Punta de Tralcassa, Chilessä. Minä olen turvassa, hän tuntemattomassa, kuka tietää, jopa vaarallisessa paikassa. Joku minussa on todella peloissaan.

Metrovaunuun nousee mies toisen miehen kanssa. He jäävät seisomaan oven suulle. Mies ottaa tukea viereisestä tangosta. Kun näen hänet, alan yhtäkkiä tuntea jalkapohjani tukevasti vaunun lattiaa vasten. Rauha alkaa nousta ylöspäin koko kehooni. Katson miestä, kun hän puhuu toiselle. Aivan tavallinen mies, noin kuudenkymmenen ikäinen salkku kädessään. Pidempi kuin moni mies ympärillään.

Katson ihmisiä ympärilläni uteliaana: löytyisikö joku toinenkin, jonka kasvoista ja koko olemuksesta huokuisi sama rauha kuin miehestä vierelläni. Ei ketään.

Jonkun ajan päästä mies poistuu metrosta. Minussa asuva syvä rauha ei häviä.

Tämä kokemus muistuttaa fokusointia. Sitä, kuinka olen asioiden, ajatusten tai tunteiden kansssa, jotka voivat herättää minussa vastustusta, pelkoa, jähmettymistä. Kun vien huomion lattian, tuolin, ympäristön ja kuuntelijani antamaan tukeen, alan tuntea, kuinka jalkani juurtuvat maahan ja löydän sen osan minusta, joka on täysin turvassa, jolla on täysi rauha vain olla.

Myöhemmin oivallan, että miehen rauha resonoi minussa itsessäni sillä hetkellä piiloutuneena olleen rauhan kanssa. Minussakin on se rauha, ja voin löytää sen kipeälläkin hetkellä.

Kevinin harjoitus vie minut tähän samaan tunnelmaan. Löydät sen täältä

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Me and Planet Earth

A critical block can be the emotional pain of the fear of not being loved or wanted. This type of despair might be a compelling presence in our lives.

Me & planet Earth sustain me. Out of nothing, something new emerges. Kevin connects us to one of his influences, Pierre de Chardin, who believed that we have a role to play in the expanding universe. We are a part of planet Earth, and it sustains life–even our lives. For example, we can sense the laws of gravity that help us function at every moment of our lives. This intunement is about the experience of our sense of self-connected to the Earth in grounded presence. More importantly, we need to know what might get in the way.

Not Planet Earth

A critical block can be the emotional pain of the fear of not being loved or wanted. This type of despair might be a compelling presence in our lives. If we make room for fear of nothingness, more comes. We need to endure the sense of nothing to allow something not of our own making to emerge.

Me and Plant Earth

In this intunement, Kevin takes us through how these ideas have an inherent connection to our Wholebody Focusing practice and how Kevin uses them to take what he learns about these connections to a new level. These nuances can enrich your practice of Wholebody Focusing.

Enjoy what emerges today listening to Kevin’s journey in connecting to planet Earth.

Photo Credit: Mohonk Mountain, NY at sunset Diana Scalera

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It’s For This

These are the skis
that will take me
—not down
—not up
but out
into that Greater Place
that-holds-us-all-
in-Its-loving-embrace

 

I want to know.
To experience
It
directly.
Not just to know about
It.

To sit in the
silent hum of my being
To sit in the
silent hum of that
Transcendent Being
The One I choose to call
God
Father

That’s what’s needed
that’s what’s important
to me

I don’t want to settle for less
for writing a beautiful piece
for creating an amazing painting
or sculpture
or for giving something needed to another
All those are Good
But not enough—for me

Continue reading “It’s For This”

Something in Me Hurts!

In the first 12 intunements, Kevin helps us strengthen our sense of Me Here.  Something in Me Hurts is the beginning of a new phase of this this work–a phase that guides us to being with the parts of ourselves that need our attention and love.  This new group of intunements helps us hold both Me Here and something else. The first intunement of this group works with a painful part.

Something in Me Hurts!  is an intunement that supports us when we need loving kindness for a part of us that has pain or is suffering.  Kevin walks us through, in real time, what happens to him when he awakes to a painful shoulder.  He connects to himself and to the part that hurts which allows both to become more aware of themselves and each other. Through this process something new emerges.

Feel what happens when you share this experience with Kevin.

Something in Me Hurts! Intunement

For more intunements please visit Find your Favorite Intunements 
Or visit Kevin Speaks  for more of Kevin's work.

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To read or leave a comment please click on the word Comments next to or under the photo.

Something Good is Happening to Me

As a reader and a contributor to this blog, I’m very touched to hear this audio from Kevin, “Something is Happening That is Good For Me.”

And it turns out that he’s talking about his response to recent contributions and comments on this cyber-gathering place.  It’s as though I’m hearing it for the first time—that we are “…participating in something not of our own making…” in these recent writings.

He reminds us that we’re participating—we’re not passive carriers for inspired ideas—instead we‘re active participants in what comes through each of us; something that is uniquely helpful to the writer, and uniquely helpful—in yet another way—to the reader.

And he adds something else that I feel is new:  that we are experiencing “…a felt-sense, person-to-person.”  And he says “YES” to that, adding, “.that’s why I’m here in this moment, to say YES.”

Lucky us—to have the opportunity to sense into this new-knowing.

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