Kevin McEvenue's Wholebody Focusing Blog
“When a part of me is able to feel loved, it awakens to its own healing!”
These are the skis
that will take me
—not down
—not up
but out
into that Greater Place
that-holds-us-all-
in-Its-loving-embrace
I want to know.
To experience
It
directly.
Not just to know about
It.
To sit in the
silent hum of my being
To sit in the
silent hum of that
Transcendent Being
The One I choose to call
God
Father
That’s what’s needed
that’s what’s important
to me
I don’t want to settle for less
for writing a beautiful piece
for creating an amazing painting
or sculpture
or for giving something needed to another
All those are Good
But not enough—for me
Photo by Diana Scalera
The morning of New Year’s Day, I happened to wake up early before the sunrise, which is rarely the case for me. Out of pure curiosity I rolled up the curtains fully to see the sky and the far mountains across my town, and realized that the atmosphere out there was so clean and quiet, even including the neighborhood parking lot and streets. I noticed everything there was so still in the veil of darkness and felt as if everyone held their breath, waiting for the particular moment—-the sun’s appearance. So I, too, kept still and quiet, standing by the window and just watching how the sky and the landscape would be changing.
The darkness gradually faded, and bits of red began to tint the clouds here and there. It was a bird’s cry which disrupted the silence, and it was the first sign for the rise of the sun. Other birds also joined with their calls as if they could not help but cry out of joy. When the bright light of the sun flowed out of the mountain ridge and penetrated through the landscape and me, I experienced “joy” myself, with my eyes closed, filled with overwhelming white light from head to toe.
Through this small drama, I felt as if I experienced Nature’s direct and powerful language, her pure feelings of joy and happiness, which I wanted to share with you at the beginning of this New Year.
Hiromi
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Dear body please help me to remember….
My felt sense
My true nature
My inner knowing…..
Like the stars, is sometimes hidden, sometimes covered over by the darkness, concealed by the distractions of life, blocked out by conditionings imposed on me from the outside. Dimmed by the crushing thoughts that pelt down on me.
But sometimes, sometimes…..
When I’m quiet, when my mind is still, when I’m with someone who can listen well, someone who doesn’t want to change or fix me, someone who points me back home to myself, I find,
clarity
wisdom
truth and beauty
Always available
It never leaves me
I leave it….often
It never leaves me
Dear body please hear my prayer,
help me to come home to you…..
again
and again
and again.
The more I practice Whole Body Focusing the shorter the path has become to the place I long for. A place where there is quiet. A place where there is me.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
Dear Blog Readers,
A new Contributor has joined our ranks. Wholebody focuser Steven Jakobovic writes about a rarely discussed element of Wholebody Focusing—wordless, movement-centric sessions that make us new without narratives, words or cathartic thoughts. What he describes is how pure movement can bring him what he desires most—a connection to self. Join us in welcoming his insights to our blog.
Diana Scalera – Blog Administrator
For me, the path to presence is winding, but also an unwinding. It begins with a twitch in a toe or a finger. The twitches are followed by a slight shudder or a shiver down my back. At first, the spasms are intermittent; lightly flitting every now and again.
By now, I know what’s coming and wait. I feel carpet fibers between my toes. Through two sit bones resting upon the seat of my chair, I become aware of the weight of my body. My eyes are closed, but I sense sunlight coming in through the window.
I speak of my bodily experience over Skype, and my voice instantly reaches Toronto, Canada. Kevin’s warm scratchy response encourages me. “Yes…good,” he says. I agree with a nod that he cannot see with his eyes – we only use audio, but I am sure he ‘sees’ it.
The twitches become more intense and violent. My shoulders jerk back; my head turns from side to side as far as my neck allows; my wrists shake with enough force to toss my fingers across the room if only they could; my toes grab for the carpet fibers. This goes on for several minutes or maybe only thirty seconds; I’ve never counted.
The spasms slow down. A few final twitches make my body pop before it becomes quiet. Sometimes traveling this path makes me tired, but I always end up feeling loose and open. I am neutral and quiet; a quiet that I long for, but have trouble finding.
Sunlight illuminates
my friends, the trees
their trunks, their limbs.
How lucky am I
to be able to turn
to see these gnarled trees
through this train window
stopped
waiting
for some unseen obstruction
ahead
Sunlight illuminates
my friends, the trees
their trunks, their limbs.
Orange-khaki-colored brush
crouches in front of them
Unashamed of their winter attire
Take me as I am
they signal in their own
private language
I have no need for adornments.
I am here.
That is enough.
Elizabeth Morana
Video Credit: Horseshoe Falls by Elizabeth Morana
Water sometimes has to go
over a ledge and
drop
without knowing
what comes next
you panic
there is nothing to
hold onto
no email with information
you needed
to orient you
The drops of water
too are disoriented
they rely
without forethought
on gravity
They don’t know
which way is up
either
Oh, Angels!
Teach me to be like
Water
Elizabeth Morana
Before I know it I have lost myself, I am not solid.
I am hard on myself and I need to break the spell of that.
When the overwhelm sets in, it takes over my body.
Before I know it I have lost myself, I am not solid.
I am like a leaf being blown around in a storm.
I am lost. I have no home base.
When I can break the spell of the panic, the overwhelm, the negative thoughts – I feel wider, softer. I have freedom to move.
The reward from doing that is that I can hear the birdsong and the wind in the trees.
I am available to experiencing life in the here and now.
How I break it is to pause, to slow down, to remember to come back to myself, my surroundings, my breath, the beauty that is there for me as a solid support – 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks of every year.
Not as a technique that I have learned and must get right, must do a certain way. If I do that, I am going against the unique way my body knows and desires to be.
If I do that, then the trying hard sets in, the sense of failure, I don’t get it, can’t do it.
The words come in and beat me up.
I must pause and find some sense of solidity that is outside me.
I simply pause and wait for the right way for me that is coming from my own unique bodily knowing of how to be in this world.
Finally – I can trust me.
I can break the spell like that and then the magic of the birdsong will appear for me, and I can breathe out.
Because I can trust me and my body knowing of what it needs,
I can trust you and your body knowing.
I know you will find your own unique way that is just right for you.
Thank you Kevin.
