We Would Like to Hear from You

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Welcome to our blog

We hope you will share your ideas with us.    We thank everyone who has participated in reading, commenting, liking, sharing, and writing for our blog. The blog was created to provide the Wholebody Focusing Community with an open, online forum for participating in a Heartfelt Conversation.

Who we are:

This blog was started by Diana Scalera, a student of Kevin McEvenue and Wholebody Focusing Trainer, in December 2017.  It was filled with content from Wholebody Focusers and teachers who have studied with Kevin McEvenue, Karen Whalen, Addie Van Der Kooy, Rosa Catoio, and Bruna Blundello,  Direct Encounter, and Maria Hakasalo.

We started this process because we saw a need in our own lives for a way to stay connected to the Wholebody Focusing and Heartfelt Conversation practices that we have learned. This blog is part of a coordinated effort to create sustainable resources that help WBFers connect and provide multiple ways to keep our shared conversation moving forward. We are fortunate to have Kevin McEvenue, the founder of Wholebody Focusing, as our mentor and primary advocate. He frequently replies to posts when something in them moves him.

Recently, we have seen a growth in the popularity of the Blog.  We have readers in more than 79 countries across the Americas, Europe, the Middle East, India, the subcontinent, and the Pacific Rim.

There are no financial interests or ads involved. No one is selling anything, and participation is open to all readers, welcomed and encouraged.

The Blog

Continue reading “We Would Like to Hear from You”

What Has Come for Me Here

Paul Through the Window
Paul through the Window by Kevin McEvenue

I have been reflecting on how what has been shared—in this kind of Heartfelt Communication with one another—has felt so good for me. I’m thinking of the recent sense of connection that speaks from direct experience that has awakened something in each of the lives that are giving voice—or describing—their direct experience of something real and something worthwhile for them to communicate with themselves and to share with each other.

I remember that I would often say, “That touches me. Your words—or your voice—touches me deeply.”

So I’m wondering, what do I mean by that? What does that mean? “What you share here touches me deeply.” And I can feel that right now.  In my heart.  In my belly.  In my thighs. It’s a kind of warmth, a kind of loving and a kind of wanting that seems to touch a kind of an awakening of a desire in me that’s already there.

Continue reading “What Has Come for Me Here”

Mr. Deer and Me

Mr Deer

I offer a moment-to-moment description of a grounded presence experience that I had with a deer as we both walked through the woods. This example highlights an important Wholebody Focusing practice–holding a “we” space for partners.  It also shows how we can have a “we” space with any other sentient being and how both of us are impacted by the relational space they create together.

There he was, Mr. Deer, quietly but unexpectedly just over there. In fact, he was just beyond the clearing of the forest as I began my own walk. I was taking a break from a training that wasn’t going well for me. I wanted to enjoy a walk in the forest to find a grounded sense of myself again.

That is when it happened, that encounter with Mr. Deer. It seemed to startle both of us so unexpectedly. It was a surprise, yes, and startling? Maybe for a split second we both knew that something felt different here and so we seemed to pause and take in the moment with curiosity. It was that pause that seemed to change everything because we both took some space to take in what might be happening that felt so different from what we were used to. What was that? What made us stop and take a moment to become aware of the something that felt new here?

I can’t speak for Mr. Deer. He has his own sense of what was happening in him. For me, as a reflective human creature that I am, I realized I was in a good place. Usually I walk through a forest without really taking much in. But this time I felt differently. I was enjoying this moment of peace and enjoying myself in this wooded environment.

Continue reading “Mr. Deer and Me”

Active Meditation with the Breathing Self as “Me Here!”

Today’s intunement helps us connect to another way of finding grounded presence through using our attention to our breath.  Kevin guides us to being with this simple practice used for ages in so many healing modalities in a way that the experience of grounding itself becomes self-aware.

What is the quality of your breath?  What comes for you as you are holding space for your breath?  How does that help you be with what is there for you today?

Start your day with this short exploration and see what comes.

Diana Scalera

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Oceans of Benevolence

Mr Deer

 

…You offer me Space for that encounter a couple years ago with the two does. As I have your words here it comes back so palpably, so viscerally that moment of going out the front door and finding the deer just across and up on the high side of the driveway.

We all stopped.

And from somewhere there was a becoming more as I somehow knew or it came to just meet them wordlessly yes but also deeply from my heart as though it were a sending and receiving directly.

As I “remember” this and re-feel this I am in there again and wonder what/how this relates with your experience.

My heart comes more alive. Yes that sounds right, the activity of my heart comes more alive to itself in this stopping in this way. I see/feel/give from my heart. And the piece that comes more to know itself is the receiving part.

I have to pause here. There are oceans of Benevolence to receive that I have been letting in by the dropper full. OMG

OK This one can go on the blog.

As I reread this having typed it here, a reticent bit comes, this is wide open and something worries about its safety.

It comes to me to pause back at the words that seemed to describe or point to something – oceans of Benevolence.

Letting this In.

A word comes further as I have the whole of this experience – Reception. Something satisfying in there, to have these words come. Oceans of Benevolence. Reception.

Laura Dickinson

 

What does my body need now?

Wholebody Focusing Haiku # 15
Being with the pain
That is trauma residue
Takes grounding and love.

Photo Credit: Anonymous

How Haiku helps

What does my body need now? Frequently writing Haiku about my WBF discoveries not only helps me document what is emerging but also helps me to sustain the new healing.

As I was preparing for bed a few weeks ago, I noticed that I felt defeated. There were so many challenges that made me anxious and fearful that I wondered if it were useless to try to sleep. My husband and I have been experiencing serious health problems for the last year and a half and it felt exhausting to be in this place.

The words “what does my body need now?” came to me. I thought I would give it a try.  As I got into bed, I felt into my body as I asked this question. My hands moved. They landed crossed, on my upper chest with my hands near my shoulders. It felt so comfortable and comforting. The next thing I remembered is that I woke up at 6:00 AM. I had slept through the night and my hands were still in this position. It was as if I had given myself a seven hour Reiki treatment.

Asking My Body

In the days following, I noticed a shift. When a situation arose, I didn’t have to “check” in with my body what it needed. The answer was just there.

“Did I want to work on taxes right now?”

“No! I needed to finish my film project.”

“Did I want to be part of a committee to make important decisions?”

“No! I just wanted to play.”

“Could I take on a new responsibility?”

“No! I had to organize myself to be with the responsibilities that were already here.”

I am noticing ME as my first reaction to a situation. It is coming from my body and out my mouth before I can get a chance to filter it. In the past, when someone wanted me to do something, I would usually say yes first and think about it later. That caused a lot of stress because, while I may come to know how I really feel about something later, I would never want to renege on my agreement to take on a responsibility.

The body needs what it needs

Old feelings emerged. Was I being selfish? Would this new assertion of my needs alienate people?  These are the same feelings that lead me to say yes to most of what people asked of me, however, now I was having them after I declined to do the whatever was asked of me. I had the opportunity to see in real time what the result was of my going with what my body needed. Here are some respones from ohters. Sometimes people were surprised or amused or agreed that I needed to take care of myself. No one has disowned me or started to not return my calls. These Haikus helped me feel  less stress and anxiety because I was doing what my body needed rather than what others might want of me.

Writing about what comes for us in any format supports our WBF work by continuing the healing that is already in progress. I encourage all who read this blog to share their own experiences with shifts and new ways of living. You can do this as a contributor to the blog

Haiku to Find Myself

15 
Being with the pain
That is trauma residue
Takes grounding and love.

16 
When there are stressors
Allowing movement steadies
The nervous system

17
When progress is made
New shifts need to be noticed
So that they can stay

 18 
When good things happen
I hold space for all that comes
With an open heart

 19
When challenges pop
And there is nowhere to go
Go inside and move!

 20
What does my heart need?
Slowing down to listen now
This is new to me

21
When upset, I ask
What does my body need now?
Then I notice me

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11 Ways to connect with yourself

Recovery Self-Awareness

Each time I treated my suffering part as an entity unto itself, I had room to manage my medical experience better because I wasn’t occupied by worry and fear. 

Part II Recovery

Self-Awareness comes in different ways.  As a young woman, I knew I wanted to work in  education.  I also had a great desire to become a filmmaker. Inspired by my work with students in my school’s TV studio, I realized that I needed more training.  I began studying Method acting with a teacher trained by the “father of Method Acting”, Lee Strasberg.  This is one of the benefits of living in NYC. The basis of Method acting teaches the practioner to develop a very deep level of self-awareness.   We were taught to use our imagination to invoke the emotional state of the characterwe would become. For example, one connects to  a particular emotional state in one’s life that resembles the character’s emotional state and uses it to become the character. It is a different and potent pathway to the felt sense.

Self-Awareness

Method Acting  helped me  learn how to  access emotions, and their physical manifestations (change in heart rate, sweating, etc) and. For a focuser one can access the emotional state of a part of the body. The Method practice can  help a focuser to become aware of one’s capacity to connect to any part of one’s body that needs your attention. When I began studying Focusing, these method skills were very valuable.  Only this time I was connecting to my body parts’ experienceto learn more about them instead of using them to become somone else.

Recovery Self-Awareness

Kevin and I continued to work together helping me to hold space for the suffering of the parts of my body that would need to be removed.  As we continued our investigation into my body’s experience of itself I learned to be more compassionate of the effected parts of my body and less anxious about “future scenarios” that had been occupying my thoughts since the decision to go forward with the surgery to remove the right salivary gland.   

Time  to create a plan of action to get me through this experience began to take form.  Living in NYC gives you access to high quality medical care but, it makes getting family and friends together to coordinate care needs from their vastly differing locations.  I created a system on my cell phone that would support everyone wanting information about the progress of the surgery and the  recovery.  I taught a friend who would be at the hospital with me to be in charge of the cell phone. It was a simple system to able to communicate with me and family and friends on the day of the surgery and notify various groups who wanted to be part of my support community support.  

Missing Parts Self-Awareness

When I returned home, had nerve damage that limited the functioning of my mouth, I was in the state of shock. I had very little control food in my mouth and I kept biting my numb lip. There also was massive swelling.  It felt like I had been beaten up..  My first salivary gland extraction had none of the symptoms.  Rage was my main emotion.  I wondered if I had had an incompetent surgeon. With the help of Chinese herbs, Acupuncture and homeopathis remedies for pain and nerve damage, the new changes in my body started to more closely function in ways that helped me function.  

Making space for the missing parts helped me to have room to remember that I am not alone and that I have access to an a vast network of alternative options to help my recover. I began to take advantage of those resources. This put the control of my outcomes back in my hands

Recovery

Each time I treated my suffering part as an entity unto itself, I created room to manage my medical experience. It helped reduce my worry and fear.  Recovery Self-Awareness helped me remember that even I had no viable alternative to the surgery. I did have the resources to manage the effects of the surgery.  In addition, I had to wait more than three weeks to get the final “no cancer” results.  The lesion I had was rare, which made the process longer than usual. I asked the affected area if there was any cancer.  It told me, “No!” It helped me let go of the importance of the biopsy report. I eventually received the report ‘no further treatment was needed.’  It was essential to get the medical results, but my connection with the surgical site helped me to get through the waiting.

WFB allows us to short circut the negative throughts that can overwhelm us as we go through necessary medical procedures.  We can fill that space with a connection to the part of us that needs treatment, will be removed, or will take curative medications that can have strong side effects.  By becoming aware of its suffering, acknowledge the ill part’s  existance, show it compassion and kindness, we can have a direct experience of healing.

Method Acting

Loving Kindness Changes the World

 

Disclaimer:  This article is a guide to using Wholebody Focusing as a guide to emotional, and spiritual support when one is experiencing a medical condition.  It does not claim to have curative powers.

We AreBeing Ourselves

Bruna Blandino and Rosa Catoio Are Being Themselves. These  Italian Wholebody focusers, met to discuss how Wholebody focusing and Heartfelt Conversation has changed their lives.  Rather than being who society and their families want them to be, Wholebody Focusing and Heartfelt Conversation has given them a mechanism to live more fully in their own truth.  Watch their video to hear how this has come about.

If you are having difficulty seeing this video in full screen, please click on the You Tube link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKpB86qG-PI

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