Breaking the Spell of Suffering

I am hard on myself and I need to break the spell of that.

When the overwhelm sets in, it takes over my body.

Before I know it I have lost myself, I am not solid.

I am like a leaf being blown around in a storm.

I am lost. I have no home base.

When I can break the spell of the panic, the overwhelm, the negative thoughts – I feel wider, softer.  I have freedom to move.

The reward from doing that is that I can hear the birdsong and the wind in the trees.

I am available to experiencing life in the here and now.

How I break it is to pause, to slow down, to remember to come back to myself, my surroundings, my breath, the beauty that is there for me as a solid support – 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks of every year.

Not as a technique that I have learned and must get right, must do a certain way. If I do that, I am going against the unique way my body knows and desires to be.

If I do that, then the trying hard sets in, the sense of failure, I don’t get it, can’t do it.

The words come in and beat me up.

I must pause and find some sense of solidity that is outside me.

I simply pause and wait for the right way for me that is coming from my own unique bodily knowing of how to be in this world.

Finally – I can trust me.

I can break the spell like that and then the magic of the birdsong will appear for me, and I can breathe out.

Because I can trust me and my body knowing of what it needs,

I can trust you and your body knowing.

I know you will find your own unique way that is just right for you.

Thank you Kevin.

Unsatisfied Can Feel so Heard!

A situation happened recently that felt so uncomfortable that I couldn’t leave it alone. I just had to address it and so I did. It was a very familiar event—having dinner with somebody or a group of people and walking away feeling so unsatisfied, hating every moment of it.

In fact, I realized I could kvetch for days and I would still remain unsatisfied. This time, I did something quite different. I paused and found a safe place to ask my body what was so unsatisfying here? And when I could pause like that, I could feel my body appreciating the question and it felt very present in a different way than the usual chatter of thinking about something I don’t like, and why!

This is what came, being with that kind of ‘background feeling’ at a dinner gathering where I came away feeling so very unsatisfied wondering why, again! What came was a real surprise and left me feeling in a very different place!

Join me here and see what comes for you in this kind of situation where you’re feeling either uncomfortable or more—unsatisfied.

Actually, they might feel slightly different. Feeling unsatisfied often points to the possibility of what it would feel like to feel fully satisfied. Feeling uncomfortable seems more like doing something, like making a list about what to do about it, but not necessarily point to something that could change the body experience, more like a quick fix to get rid of that feeling.

In this recording, I discover something very different as a possibility I never dreamed of.

Enjoy! Kevin

This Hurts!

Photo Credit: AdobeStock

The Wholebody Focusing  Blog  seems to have expanded and has become more inclusive as it awakens the stories of other participants who share experiences of themselves so powerfully. Several stories have touched me deeply as they further validate my own story of myself. In fact, there have been surprising expanded new directions and new possibilities for me to be open to! (Look for another posting about what feels so unsatisfying at another date!)

One was a story of a generational trauma passed on from one family to the next, based on faulty belief systems that have been so destructive to healthy living for generations.

Another explores the power of the ‘Pause’ as a way to stop and fully appreciate what is there and to give it the space it needs to expand and complete itself more fully. 

In my own story in this recording, I explore the experience of pain. The reality of the moment is that it hurts. It is as simple as that and yet my tendency is to try to understand it or do something with it. Anything but actually open up to and accept it. In fact, I block it.  I seem to want to cut off the experience itself and go to a place to try to do something about it rather than let it do something in its own bodily wisdom! 

In this recording, I am sharing a very concrete moment of an event in me that hurts! I suspect everyone has those moments and could say simply, this hurts!  But we often don’t.  We don’t just stop there, and pause, and give it the space it needs to be aware of itself. We seem to need to react! Why?

I invite you to hear my story and see if it resonates with something that is familiar to you, both as a story of a painful situation and the habit that comes right there as a way of “dealing” with it. Before I can even ask myself how it is—I react!! The experience itself has been denied and I have moved on to that part of me that is essentially reactive!

My story of This Hurts may open up new possibilities that offer something else for you to ponder. Please make room for what comes in you and mark it and maybe even share that.

Kevin

What do I mean by the ‘We’?

Hello fellow WBF’ers,

I wrote what came about the ‘we’ in August 2017, and I’d like to share it here:

Hello dear friends,

When I awoke last Tuesday–after having had a meaningful conversation about the “WE” with Kevin the day before–I found the following words wanting to be expressed, and I wrote them down. Now I wish to share them with you, knowing that what I’ve written is only a beginning, not all of it, and that it may change, it may disagree with itself later, it might give lots more that I didn’t know. And it might give it through someone else.

I welcome hearing what comes for each of us about this and about related topics on heartfelt connection. I am always seeking that with everyone–sometimes feeling I’ve failed, or worse: that I’ve forgotten about it completely. And sometimes the connection appears with a great sense of love and satisfaction.

Here’s what came for me to write last Tuesday morning:

In a ‘we,’ we are now able to take in so much more.

In ‘small self,’ we know very little. In ‘small self,’ we are aware mostly of our own personal concerns and barely aware of the concerns of others. Others are largely unknown. When we sense the presence of other, we still miss most of what they are, what they think, what they experience; instead, when we think we ‘see’ the other, we are often simply seeing what we think of them.

When we begin to notice and realize that the other has experiences, views, thoughts, separate from our own, and surprising to us, we begin to open up to knowing much more than previously.

When we begin to be aware of a “We,” we are opened up to knowing infinitely more.

That “We” can take the form of me-alone-by-myself-in-connection-to-my-spiritual-guidance. I am no longer the ‘small self,’ I am now ‘with’ an ‘other’ that lives beyond me, that doesn’t rely on my breath or my mind to exist. It is a living-something that is independent of me and which I can become aware of. Can we call it Body Wisdom? Spirit?

The”We” can also come about between me and another person. That kind of “We” takes form when I become aware of the presence and existence of another person as they become aware of me; in other words, where both I and the other person can sense that the ‘other’ has experiences/thoughts/senses that are different than my own and are valuable, precious, and worthy of my careful attention. And a further component: that in some way, we are both aware of that-which-is-beyond-us; maybe we call that Body Wisdom, maybe we have other terms to describe it. And the resulting conversation has a flow to it that doesn’t happen without this alive “We”.

Love to all from Elizabeth Morana