I am hard on myself and I need to break the spell of that.
When the overwhelm sets in, it takes over my body.
Before I know it I have lost myself, I am not solid.
I am like a leaf being blown around in a storm.
I am lost. I have no home base.
When I can break the spell of the panic, the overwhelm, the negative thoughts – I feel wider, softer. I have freedom to move.
The reward from doing that is that I can hear the birdsong and the wind in the trees.
I am available to experiencing life in the here and now.
How I break it is to pause, to slow down, to remember to come back to myself, my surroundings, my breath, the beauty that is there for me as a solid support – 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks of every year.
Not as a technique that I have learned and must get right, must do a certain way. If I do that, I am going against the unique way my body knows and desires to be.
If I do that, then the trying hard sets in, the sense of failure, I don’t get it, can’t do it.
The words come in and beat me up.
I must pause and find some sense of solidity that is outside me.
I simply pause and wait for the right way for me that is coming from my own unique bodily knowing of how to be in this world.
Finally – I can trust me.
I can break the spell like that and then the magic of the birdsong will appear for me, and I can breathe out.
Because I can trust me and my body knowing of what it needs,
I can trust you and your body knowing.
I know you will find your own unique way that is just right for you.
Thank you Kevin.