I am hard on myself and I need to break the spell of that.
When the overwhelm sets in, it takes over my body.
Before I know it I have lost myself, I am not solid.
I am like a leaf being blown around in a storm.
I am lost. I have no home base.
When I can break the spell of the panic, the overwhelm, the negative thoughts – I feel wider, softer. I have freedom to move.
The reward from doing that is that I can hear the birdsong and the wind in the trees.
I am available to experiencing life in the here and now.
How I break it is to pause, to slow down, to remember to come back to myself, my surroundings, my breath, the beauty that is there for me as a solid support – 24 hours a day 7 days a week 52 weeks of every year.
Not as a technique that I have learned and must get right, must do a certain way. If I do that, I am going against the unique way my body knows and desires to be.
If I do that, then the trying hard sets in, the sense of failure, I don’t get it, can’t do it.
The words come in and beat me up.
I must pause and find some sense of solidity that is outside me.
I simply pause and wait for the right way for me that is coming from my own unique bodily knowing of how to be in this world.
Finally – I can trust me.
I can break the spell like that and then the magic of the birdsong will appear for me, and I can breathe out.
Because I can trust me and my body knowing of what it needs,
I can trust you and your body knowing.
I know you will find your own unique way that is just right for you.
Thank you Kevin.
Thank you for such a beautiful expresion of finding me when I feel overwhelmem
There is a lot to explore in the power of the ‘pause’: you given us another signal of how to appreciate that you have come back to yourself again. Thank you. Kevin
What a wonderful gift–the birdsong and the wind in the trees!!!!
Yes! The joy of it is food for my sometimes aching soul – and my body has a record of it! To be able to turn to it at will is my practice.
Thank you for your beautiful post about the body’s record, I really loved that.
The power of the pause – but how to find it in amongst that overwhelm. What is your way in…. mine is via my feet and then my surroundings. That connection to the air around me gives me pause, ahhhh….
I like this “what is your way in?” it helps me to pause, to look, to find my own way. I need to find my own way, that is important. My body knows the right way, I just have to listen. To see what is needed to break the spell of the panic. I guess it changes too. I like your ahhhhh with the connection to the air around. I like that too especially if the air is full of the sounds of hundreds of crickets!
Thanks for mentioning how we have our own way in AND it changes. When I had a long commute on a elevated subway car to get to my job, being with the noise, sights, sounds and movement of the commute was an important “way in.” One day I got the idea of counting the trees along the way. I came to a tree growing out of a crack in the roof of a building. That it could survive under such difficult circumstances touched me so deeply. I was on my way to my really challenging job as a urban high school administrator. I felt a renewed confidence in my own resilience. The tree reminded me that in addition to the challenges, I also had resilience. I needed to hear that message on that particular day. From that day on I looked for the tree whenever I travelled to work. At other times, when a felt sense emerges, I stay with the movement or physical sense that is emerging and give it space. I let the narrative be and new parts of me emerge.
Thanks for showing us how Eero’s advise can connect to our lives.
What a beautiful message from that tree to you!
I can feel it and it makes me smile and feel strong and determined.