Many years ago I met a wise elderly woman. In her youth, she told me, she learned from a Jesuit priest that the most import thing in life is to be at home with oneself. There you will find that you never are lonely. The expression in Latin is “Habitare Secum”. It resonated deeply with me! It seized me! How can I be home with myself?
After the woman and I separated, I named my psychotherapy practice to Habitare Secum. What could be a better name? But still, the longing and the question was there.
Then in summer 2012, I got to know Focusing and Whole Body Focusing for the first time. It was like a revelation and a healing bath of presence, warmth, compassion, gentle interest in the connection with the focusers. And an answer to my question of Habitare Secum began to get contours.
Being in contact with our energetic bodies means that we have cycles of awareness, feeling stuck, movement, not knowing, and healing. Our bodies also respond to the seasons and the times of the year. The holiday season can be a loving time and can also have some peril. The Haiku that came these past nine days were about what was cycling through me preparing for the holidays.
Wholebody Focusing Haiku # 10
A new movement comes
My hand on my crown moving.
Connection to my core.
I wrote what came about the ‘we’ in August 2017, and I’d like to share it here:
Hello dear friends,
When I awoke last Tuesday–after having had a meaningful conversation about the “WE” with Kevin the day before–I found the following words wanting to be expressed, and I wrote them down. Now I wish to share them with you, knowing that what I’ve written is only a beginning, not all of it, and that it may change, it may disagree with itself later, it might give lots more that I didn’t know. And it might give it through someone else.
I welcome hearing what comes for each of us about this and about related topics on heartfelt connection. I am always seeking that with everyone–sometimes feeling I’ve failed, or worse: that I’ve forgotten about it completely. And sometimes the connection appears with a great sense of love and satisfaction.
Here’s what came for me to write last Tuesday morning:
In a ‘we,’ we are now able to take in so much more.
In ‘small self,’ we know very little. In ‘small self,’ we are aware mostly of our own personal concerns and barely aware of the concerns of others. Others are largely unknown. When we sense the presence of other, we still miss most of what they are, what they think, what they experience; instead, when we think we ‘see’ the other, we are often simply seeing what we think of them.
When we begin to notice and realize that the other has experiences, views, thoughts, separate from our own, and surprising to us, we begin to open up to knowing much more than previously.
When we begin to be aware of a “We,” we are opened up to knowing infinitely more.
That “We” can take the form of me-alone-by-myself-in-connection-to-my-spiritual-guidance. I am no longer the ‘small self,’ I am now ‘with’ an ‘other’ that lives beyond me, that doesn’t rely on my breath or my mind to exist. It is a living-something that is independent of me and which I can become aware of. Can we call it Body Wisdom? Spirit?
The”We” can also come about between me and another person. That kind of “We” takes form when I become aware of the presence and existence of another person as they become aware of me; in other words, where both I and the other person can sense that the ‘other’ has experiences/thoughts/senses that are different than my own and are valuable, precious, and worthy of my careful attention. And a further component: that in some way, we are both aware of that-which-is-beyond-us; maybe we call that Body Wisdom, maybe we have other terms to describe it. And the resulting conversation has a flow to it that doesn’t happen without this alive “We”.
I love the format of Haiku and have always used it to describe my urban experiences even though it is traditionally known as a form of poetry honoring nature. Since I love urban life so much, I include the urban built environment as part of “nature.” It is a product of humanity, therefore, for me, a part of nature. Almost everything we touch in cities is part of nature in some way. My very large apartment complex, for example, is constructed from bricks made from the clay residue of the glacier that became the Hudson River. I take great comfort in this as someone might living in a log cabin.
Going Back to Basics – Why do I want to do this thing called Focusing – Wholebody Focusing.
What is in it for me?
I am very surprised what came in me when I asked myself this question, especially “What is in it for me!” How selfish! Good experience in self loving and so much more….
But just the right question?
It is about me, the felt sense of me! Finding me….thank you Gendlin for framing this experience for us.
Does something come for you too as you feel/hear/see me say this?
This blog is dedicated to those who seek healing through connecting to abundant benevolent energy to support their own body’s healing wisdom. Our bodies’ inherent ability to heal waits for us to give our attention to what is present, continuously observing what is truly there with equal regard and accompanying our bodies as they explore their own healing in their own time and their own way. We invite and welcome contributions from this community of self-healers to build this shared space with our stories, thoughts, theories, and experiences.