And then he adds something: “…to receive information about me from a place that’s actually larger than I think myself to be.
Right away, I hear something within. It’s so loving. It’s addressing me, telling me something. I know right away that I will not share it here in this preamble. I won’t risk it.
Then my throat tightens and is a bit painful, knowing that I have something I won’t share with others. I’ve decided I can’t tell someone else what I heard from a place that’s larger than I think myself to be. Even though what I heard was totally loving.
Then I hear Kevin say: “….let that be felt, that sense of desire to know, who I am….and step back…”
There’s a billowing out in my body. A sharp pain in my right shoulder. I sit back and ask the question again, and something in my throat tightens again. Tears come, that don’t express one emotion but a cloud of emotion.
And now I change my mind: I’ll tell you one part of what came—it answered that I am beloved.
How do you usually connect with your inner places as you begin a WBF session? Is there a question or questions that you ask inwardly to stimulate the process? Or do you often just wait, making space inwardly as you ground, and allow whatever wants to come to show itself to you in its own way and time?
In this blog entry, Kevin shares an intunement statement that Gene Gendlin offered him in one of his very first focusing sessions. It was offered by Gene in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek and humorous way, as a means of helping Kevin and his inner places connect. Listen to this latest offering from Kevin and see how this statement feels to you and your inner places.
It feels in me that this intunement isn’t only about how we might squeeze our eyes—for me it touches into the ways I squeeze mySelf in order to do whatever I “must” do. Alters Me. Compromises Me.
This intunement reminds me that through WBF and Heartfelt Connections I’ve been able to find Me—this Me is able to see more because there is more of Me to hold her, more of Me allowing more to emerge.
And all of this brings me to be able to ask: how do I squeeze mySelf in order to take in what I think is around me? Can I hold that question at the same time I hold your understanding that my own brain-confusion “is not of my own doing”?
Or is it?!!!? Can I hold that question too?
Maybe in this moment I can say: I am embodied, therefore I am. And this embodiment, with the richness of its seeing/vision, is the
“I Am-ness” of me.
This exercise allowed me to connect with my own warm and the people that are warm around me. It also helped me to connect to the hostility that was there when I grew up and my struggle to get a bit of warm.
After listening to the intunement for a second time, I have been dancing with both, the hostility and the warm, and I am surprised that I am able to find that warm place in me not only for me but for others, no matter their hostility.
Inviting my body into the warm makes me feel like I am in my own cocoon and I feel less threatened. I can always come back here and make the choice to engage with other human beings who can be warm and nice.
Noticing at first the sense of anxiety that I am listening to this intunement with the special purpose of writing something.. but as I continue to listen to Kevin’s familiar voice and pay attention to this sense I notice that the anxiety diminishes and there is a sense of safety as I open the door to what is there in this intunement today.
As I hear Kevin listing what might be there….. I notice a feeling of surprise and then delight that he is inviting the possibility of there being more than the usual felt sense or pain, but also emotions, thought, resistance. Wow!! All that can be part of what I can acknowledge in this intunement. How often have I been critical of myself if I wandered off into thinking about something, chastised the thought that floated across that had nothing to do with the intunement? Got wrapped up in the sadness that suddenly appeared from nowhere and then guiltily come back to Kevin’s voice….
Is there something that needs to be noticed now – a feeling of permission to notice more!!
When the despair gets into me and the helplessness and stuckness set in I have often found myself searching outside of me for help. This plea from inside that screams ‘help me, help me’ is often looking outside for the answer. As I write that I smile and realize this plea is wanting me to be with it not search outside of me. It is saying Gabe I need you come back home to me. I like that this process brings me back home to myself and my own inner wisdom.
In this audio Kevin says that this whole body focusing process introduces a resource as a way of meeting these places inside that are full of pain and despairing. The stuckness and hopelessness bring us an opportunity to bring in this deep inner resource that knows the way forward.
I step back and find my groundedness and my presence and I invite the background feeling of despair and immobility and resistance to life to be there and I wait. Kevin says to step back and wait and allow that to be there just as it is. Then to invite that physical reality of a deeper wisdom – that is always there in all of us- to show me what is possible from what seems impossible. This deeper wisdom is always there waiting to be invited to show me the way forward.