Photo by Bankim Desai on Unsplash
Elizabeth Morana, Dec. 9, 2019
I often awaken in the middle of the night and find myself reflecting; many seemingly disparate thoughts and ideas come. And then a sentence comes, loud and clear, and I know from past experience, if I don’t write this down, it will disappear.
This morning, one such sentence came: We are being awakened into His Love. It didn’t bring any explanation with it. I wrote it and waited to see if there was more. There wasn’t. So, I lay back down and turned the light off.
Within a minute, more came, and with the words came an image—a butterfly in the process of opening the pod it had found itself in—it’s chrysalis. I could sense it was weak and somewhat confused—as though it were awakening from a long sleep.
I sat up again, turned on the light, and continued writing. I realized as I wrote, that it was very much about me. And about more than me.
Recently, I’ve been telling people: I‘m changed! After much Wholebody focusing and Heartfelt Conversation, after much prayer, after much meditation, I made it clear to all the Powers That Be: I’m willing to be changed, to let go of old dramas and the possibility of reliving them, to face the unknown of the Present Moment.—as best I can.
Here’s what came to me at 5am this morning when I turned the light back on:
When she emerged from the Chrysalis, she was not the kind of butterfly she’d expected to be.
In fact, it was all different than she’d imagined. She wasn’t sure what to make of this.
She’d expected to be fully functional— and she stood at this new threshold, hesitant. The ground felt different. The air. She was bewildered.
She scanned the landscape. Butterflies of all shapes and sizes—and other beings—slowly appeared.
How do you talk to these other creatures, she wondered. What will come out when I begin to speak?
Relax, something whispered. No hurry.
She sank into the moment. The ground beneath her softened. A sigh welled up. Even the air cradled her.
And she knew: I am here. That is enough. Nothing needs to happen.
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Dear Elizabeth this is remarkable….I just need to be with that sense of actual happening. Like I am here, I’m changed, as you say, we are being awakened into His Love. This is not ‘about’ what is happening, this is happening and you seem to speak directly from this event happening in you!
I know in my own experience that I too sense change is about to happen, and there is an edge of fear in that. I may want this change but I don’t know how that will be. In the message to you it seems to reassurance that everything is okay, I am here, that is enough. I hunger for that reassurance at this edge because I am afraid of change, your message is so reassuring to me and perhaps to all of us. Kevin
Dear Kevin,
Thank you for being with this so truthfully and for acknowledging what comes for you about this.
I am deeply moved, and your comment comes at just the right moment, as I am having the experience of awakening in the night with a very unexpected and very unusual quality of fear in me. Being heard by you–and hearing you–helps me immeasurably with the fear that is arising in me.
I trust this space between us–around all of us open to this edge and leaning toward it in our not-knowing. Yes, there’s fear, and, now I’m remembering what Addie said to you in that recent heart felt conversation on this blog: “How can I be welcoming to the Fear?”
Can I say, “Hello, how can I make you welcome here? What do you need to be comfortable here?”
This sounds like I’m jumping ahead–but no, I’m simply finding a way to Be-With a Big Fear about change that has just visited me in the night, and then I find your response here on the blog, and then I am able to sit-with my own fear.
Something seems to know something that I don’t, and it’s left a trail of crumbs for me to follow in the dark of night. I am both mystified by its wisdom and wondering where this is all going. And so filled with gratitude that I’m not alone with my fear. Something much bigger than you and me is Here too.
Thank you for listening to me and to “that,”
Elizabeth
Dearest Elizabeth,
Your beautiful post speaks directly to me! Thank you for it, thank you for sharing your process, your intimate awarenesses, for taking responsibility for greeting with attentive love, every feeling that arises.
When you share this experience of your being awakened to His Love, you validate my own experiences, you give words to what often remains wordless, you encourage me on this path of emerging from the Chrysalis into the unknown, yet desired, butterfly-being.
I send you my love and gratitude for sharing this experience of soul communication and awakening! Terry
Oh my goodness, Terry. I’m close to speechless. I can feel within myself how often it is that I am also learning from you, and from others, giving me words for something not yet articulated, giving me encouragement for what’s ahead and not yet fully known.
with gratitude, and more,
elizabeth
I am going to print this out so that I read it every morning: “I’m willing to be changed, to let go of old dramas and the possibility of reliving them, to face the unknown of the Present Moment.—as best I can.” There is already a change happening that brings along that willingness to change – is this the reason: We are being awakened into His Love. Thank you!!
Thank you for your sharing. So relevant now during this Covid Chrysalis! Hopefully fear has calmed and you’ve been able to continue your journey in peace. Stay safe and well🙏💕