One night, I read something* about a prisoner during the holocaust who was in line with a group of men waiting to be taken to their death. In the midst of this horror, one of the men jumped out of line, offering to read the palms of other prisoners, exuberantly telling them of their future wives, their future children, of what seemed to be their extinguished possibilities. More and more of the prisoners asked to have their palms read. The mood changed, for both prisoners and guards—and against all odds, the unexpected happened: the guards loaded the prisoners back on the truck and drove away with them, taking them back to their barracks.
I wondered about what enabled that solitary palm-reader to act. The next morning as I awoke, a sentence came to me, and then more:
Please Let me also look at their palms and see their infinite possibilities!
And seeing them,
they glimpse themselves
As they really are!
Let us not be hypnotized
by modern day brutes
Let us look past all their dark thoughts
Let us turn again and again
beyond those dark clouds
to what is beyond their sight
Let us see our true pure being
and all our possibilities for Joy
Pull back our curtain of fear and disconnection
Open our ears to the truth of our being
Open our eyes to That Light
Not what they see
they do not define me!
And then he adds something: “…to receive information about me from a place that’s actually larger than I think myself to be.
Right away, I hear something within. It’s so loving. It’s addressing me, telling me something. I know right away that I will not share it here in this preamble. I won’t risk it.
Then my throat tightens and is a bit painful, knowing that I have something I won’t share with others. I’ve decided I can’t tell someone else what I heard from a place that’s larger than I think myself to be. Even though what I heard was totally loving.
Then I hear Kevin say: “….let that be felt, that sense of desire to know, who I am….and step back…”
There’s a billowing out in my body. A sharp pain in my right shoulder. I sit back and ask the question again, and something in my throat tightens again. Tears come, that don’t express one emotion but a cloud of emotion.
And now I change my mind: I’ll tell you one part of what came—it answered that I am beloved.
How do you usually connect with your inner places as you begin a WBF session? Is there a question or questions that you ask inwardly to stimulate the process? Or do you often just wait, making space inwardly as you ground, and allow whatever wants to come to show itself to you in its own way and time?
In this blog entry, Kevin shares an intunement statement that Gene Gendlin offered him in one of his very first focusing sessions. It was offered by Gene in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek and humorous way, as a means of helping Kevin and his inner places connect. Listen to this latest offering from Kevin and see how this statement feels to you and your inner places.
It feels in me that this intunement isn’t only about how we might squeeze our eyes—for me it touches into the ways I squeeze mySelf in order to do whatever I “must” do. Alters Me. Compromises Me.
This intunement reminds me that through WBF and Heartfelt Connections I’ve been able to find Me—this Me is able to see more because there is more of Me to hold her, more of Me allowing more to emerge.
And all of this brings me to be able to ask: how do I squeeze mySelf in order to take in what I think is around me? Can I hold that question at the same time I hold your understanding that my own brain-confusion “is not of my own doing”?
Or is it?!!!? Can I hold that question too?
Maybe in this moment I can say: I am embodied, therefore I am. And this embodiment, with the richness of its seeing/vision, is the
“I Am-ness” of me.
This exercise allowed me to connect with my own warm and the people that are warm around me. It also helped me to connect to the hostility that was there when I grew up and my struggle to get a bit of warm.
After listening to the intunement for a second time, I have been dancing with both, the hostility and the warm, and I am surprised that I am able to find that warm place in me not only for me but for others, no matter their hostility.
Inviting my body into the warm makes me feel like I am in my own cocoon and I feel less threatened. I can always come back here and make the choice to engage with other human beings who can be warm and nice.
Noticing at first the sense of anxiety that I am listening to this intunement with the special purpose of writing something.. but as I continue to listen to Kevin’s familiar voice and pay attention to this sense I notice that the anxiety diminishes and there is a sense of safety as I open the door to what is there in this intunement today.
As I hear Kevin listing what might be there….. I notice a feeling of surprise and then delight that he is inviting the possibility of there being more than the usual felt sense or pain, but also emotions, thought, resistance. Wow!! All that can be part of what I can acknowledge in this intunement. How often have I been critical of myself if I wandered off into thinking about something, chastised the thought that floated across that had nothing to do with the intunement? Got wrapped up in the sadness that suddenly appeared from nowhere and then guiltily come back to Kevin’s voice….
Is there something that needs to be noticed now – a feeling of permission to notice more!!