Holding Both with Equal Positive Regard is the essence of Wholebody Focusing. It is here that the most benefit will be experienced. Kevin explains how “holding both” can be supportive of your body’s sense of the next positive or negative event that you will be experiencing. He also shares his experience of being in grounded presence with the planned events happening for him soon and how his body responds to each event–with pleasure or anxiety.
While holding all that is there for him, Kevin asks his body which, among all these events, needs his attention most? At that point, he feels the expansion of his experience of himself and he can relax into that feeling. As the expansion grows, he also becomes aware of the resistance to that expansion. A part of him does not want to expand so quickly.
Kevin feels his hands massaging his thighs. The words come “You’re okay. You’ll be okay. It’s okay.” His hands have a function that is separate from his thoughts. Kevin holds onto that comfort he receives from the movement of his hands as anticipation resurfaces of an event that could possibly be uncomfortable.
His body is expanding into that spaciousness of being okay and he is aware that while the discussion may not be comfortable, there will be some space to accommodate that discomfort. He will be okay regardless of what comes.
Anyone who has been around Wholebody focusing for a while has heard stories of, or has had the experience of an emotionally or psychically painful part soften in some way as a result of their WBF experience. In this intunement, Kevin demystifies what may seem like a magical experience. He walks us through his own experience of a painful calf in order to help us experience how grounded presence, combined with acceptance and giving that painful part all the time it needs actually creates something new. This is a simple, reproducible practice that can help anyone through difficult moments and bodily sensations.
To listen to this intunement is to be an observer/participant in the process of the softening of a painful part as it finds a new way of being.
Kevin McEvenue, Addie van der Kooy, Patricia Manessy and I, as participants in this blog, have been engaged in a conversation about a new edge of Wholebody Focusing. Addie presented us with the idea that “I can be okay, whilst not feeling okay.” Patricia let us know how important this concept is to her. Kevin’s intunement gives us an example of how to achieve that sense of wholeness with movement while holding whatever is present in the body.
What came for me today while listening to this intunement was the pure joy of moving without searching for its meaning. I was able to feel joy in my movements as I was aware that I woke up this morning with some emotional heaviness.
This is a great intunement to connect you to your natural ability to move from an inner directed source of self, to become solidly grounded, and possibly to be able to hold both a strong sense of “Me Here” and whatever is wanting your attention. This may alleviate what is suffering in the moment and may also lead to some longer lasting shift in that suffering.
Out of nothing, something new emerges. Kevin connects us to one of his influences, Pierre de Chardin, who believed that we have a role to play in the expanding universe. We are a part of planet Earth and it sustains life–even our lives. We can sense into the laws of gravity, for example, that help us function every moment of our lives. This intunement is about the experience of our sense of self connected to the Earth in grounded presence and what might get in the way.
An important block can be the emotional pain of the fear of not being loved or wanted. This type of despair might be a very powerful presence in our lives. If we make room for fear of nothingness, more comes. We need to endure the sense of nothing in order to allow something that is not of our own making to emerge.
Enjoy what emerges today in your grounded presence.
Welcome to the second video blog of a recent conversation between Kevin and UK Wholebody Focusing trainer Addie van der Kooy. In the first clip Kevin and Addie explored the “inner core muscle” of “Me Here” and in this clip Addie speaks about another inner core muscle that can be activated by the practice of Letting Your Experience Be – a letting go of any notion of what your experience should be in each moment. Enjoy!
This intunement is about connecting to ourselves without any goal or need to “do it the right way.” Kevin starts with inviting us to use our breath. He guides us on a clear path to experience ourselves from both inner movement (breath) and outer movement (whatever shows up). That is it!
You can choose to stay only with the movement or make space for something wanting to come into consciousness. He ends by suggesting a gentle way to re-engage with the fullness of the world around us.
This is an intunement to put on your cell phone so that you can pause and take a mini “Me Here” vacation whenever it is needed.
Wake up and enjoy who you are! Love your resistance! Feel you own energy! And let what wants your attention to have the space it needs.
Kevin demonstrates how Wholebody Focusing is about returning to our authentic selves and honoring ourselves over and over again. He does this by walking us through a challenging shared experience with two people in his life and how he can be with those challenges and still be able to love and enjoy who he is.
What we resist must persist! is the rallying cry in this intunement. Kevin takes us through the moment in our grounding process in which we choose to either resist what is there or accept what is there. What happens in our bodies as we begin the process of engagement with our resistance?
The parts we resist are looking for compassion and relief. They are suffering. They need our presence for their healing process to begin. When we are holding a strong sense of Me Here, it allows the resistance to unfold in its own way and its own time.