Holding Both with Equal Positive Regard is the essence of Wholebody Focusing. It is here that the most benefit will be experienced. Kevin explains how “holding both” can be supportive of your body’s sense of the next positive or negative event that you will be experiencing. He also shares his experience of being in grounded presence with the planned events happening for him soon and how his body responds to each event–with pleasure or anxiety.
While holding all that is there for him, Kevin asks his body which, among all these events, needs his attention most? At that point, he feels the expansion of his experience of himself and he can relax into that feeling. As the expansion grows, he also becomes aware of the resistance to that expansion. A part of him does not want to expand so quickly.
Kevin feels his hands massaging his thighs. The words come “You’re okay. You’ll be okay. It’s okay.” His hands have a function that is separate from his thoughts. Kevin holds onto that comfort he receives from the movement of his hands as anticipation resurfaces of an event that could possibly be uncomfortable.
His body is expanding into that spaciousness of being okay and he is aware that while the discussion may not be comfortable, there will be some space to accommodate that discomfort. He will be okay regardless of what comes.
Anyone who has been around Wholebody focusing for a while has heard stories of, or has had the experience of an emotionally or psychically painful part soften in some way as a result of their WBF experience. In this intunement, Kevin demystifies what may seem like a magical experience. He walks us through his own experience of a painful calf in order to help us experience how grounded presence, combined with acceptance and giving that painful part all the time it needs actually creates something new. This is a simple, reproducible practice that can help anyone through difficult moments and bodily sensations.
To listen to this intunement is to be an observer/participant in the process of the softening of a painful part as it finds a new way of being.
Kevin McEvenue, Addie van der Kooy, Patricia Manessy and I, as participants in this blog, have been engaged in a conversation about a new edge of Wholebody Focusing. Addie presented us with the idea that “I can be okay, whilst not feeling okay.” Patricia let us know how important this concept is to her. Kevin’s intunement gives us an example of how to achieve that sense of wholeness with movement while holding whatever is present in the body.
What came for me today while listening to this intunement was the pure joy of moving without searching for its meaning. I was able to feel joy in my movements as I was aware that I woke up this morning with some emotional heaviness.
This is a great intunement to connect you to your natural ability to move from an inner directed source of self, to become solidly grounded, and possibly to be able to hold both a strong sense of “Me Here” and whatever is wanting your attention. This may alleviate what is suffering in the moment and may also lead to some longer lasting shift in that suffering.
Welcome to the second video blog of a recent conversation between Kevin and UK Wholebody Focusing trainer Addie van der Kooy. In the first clip Kevin and Addie explored the “inner core muscle” of “Me Here” and in this clip Addie speaks about another inner core muscle that can be activated by the practice of Letting Your Experience Be – a letting go of any notion of what your experience should be in each moment. Enjoy!
This intunement is about connecting to ourselves without any goal or need to “do it the right way.” Kevin starts with inviting us to use our breath. He guides us on a clear path to experience ourselves from both inner movement (breath) and outer movement (whatever shows up). That is it!
You can choose to stay only with the movement or make space for something wanting to come into consciousness. He ends by suggesting a gentle way to re-engage with the fullness of the world around us.
This is an intunement to put on your cell phone so that you can pause and take a mini “Me Here” vacation whenever it is needed.
What does it mean to accept ourselves in a deep and true way? As we move forward in our daily Wholebody Focusing practice our sense of aliveness emerges in a stronger and more clear way. This may feel uncomfortable. It may show up as pain or an unraveling of our own ways of ignoring what is there. In this intunement, Kevin gently guides us through this on-going process in which each unfolding may lead to a new one. Along the way, we can continue to ask “what is good for me now?”
By simply accepting what’s there each time, we allow whatever is needed to emerge. Kevin asks us to notice the difference in our bodies when we resist what is there from how our bodies feel when we are giving acceptance to what’s there.
It would be wonderful to hear replies from our readers about that difference.
Welcome to the first of three video blogs of a conversation between Kevin and UK Wholebody Focusing trainer Addie van der Kooy. During this converation Addie talks about the importance of several “inner core muscles” which need to be exercised before Focusing can really come into its own.
In this first video blog, Kevin and Addie explore what it takes to strengthen one of these inner muscles, the “Me Here” muscle – a physical experience of being present, aware and alive in the moment. Daily practice periods and “pauses for Presence” are simple, effective ways of tuning this muscle as they create a new habit: stepping out of our thinking and into our body sense of being present and alive in the moment.
In the next two video blogs Kevin and Addie explore a couple of other inner core muscles.
In the first 12 intunements, Kevin helps us strengthen our sense of Me Here. We are now at the beginning of a new phase of this this work–a phase that guides us to being with the parts of ourselves that need our attention and love. This new group of intunements helps us hold both Me Here and something else. The first intunement of this group works with a painful part.
Something in Me Hurts! is an intunement that supports us when we need loving kindness for a part of us that has pain or is suffering. Kevin walks us through, in real time, what happens to him when he awakes to a painful shoulder. He connects to himself and to the part that hurts which allows both to become more aware of themselves and each other. Through this process something new emerges.
Feel what happens when you share this experience with Kevin.