When the despair gets into me and the helplessness and stuckness set in I have often found myself searching outside of me for help. This plea from inside that screams ‘help me, help me’ is often looking outside for the answer. As I write that I smile and realize this plea is wanting me to be with it not search outside of me. It is saying Gabe I need you come back home to me. I like that this process brings me back home to myself and my own inner wisdom.
In this audio Kevin says that this whole body focusing process introduces a resource as a way of meeting these places inside that are full of pain and despairing. The stuckness and hopelessness bring us an opportunity to bring in this deep inner resource that knows the way forward.
I step back and find my groundedness and my presence and I invite the background feeling of despair and immobility and resistance to life to be there and I wait. Kevin says to step back and wait and allow that to be there just as it is. Then to invite that physical reality of a deeper wisdom – that is always there in all of us- to show me what is possible from what seems impossible. This deeper wisdom is always there waiting to be invited to show me the way forward.
In this intunement Kevin reflects on the overall purpose of Wholebody Focusing – the embodied experience of “Being Me” – and how this experience can only be sustained and deepened through practice, like an inner muscle that will strengthen through exercise.
After briefly re-visiting the various elements in the WBF journey, Kevin highlights the practice of “open detachment” – a complete stepping back from any need to know and understand what is happening, so that you can be truly open and available to what wants to emerge from a deeper wisdom inside you.
I’ve listened to this intunement today—more than once, as there’s so much.
Kevin says that there’s a vast body of information available to us. And it’s accessible! Something rises up in me, and it says, Yes, that’s true! Somehow, I am very, very sure there is a vast-universal-awareness-of-knowing, and that we can know it.
Then he adds, And it’s not me making it happen. A lot of energy rises in me when I hear this. He’s sharing this from his Whole Self—like a grass fire that spreads, and awakens in me a memory.
And there’s so much more—he noticed he can awaken that in someone else—and it wasn’t just him doing it! Hearing that, this comes: There’s this flame in me, it receives from beyond-me, and it speaks.
I like this intunement. It was recorded several months ago and as I just listened to it now, I noticed that a change of direction happened that will probably be explored more deeply. As participants become more comfortable with the invitation to notice “What is alive here?” or “How am I right now?” they will begin to make room for what comes. In this intunement I demonstrate something that is happening in my body now and give voice to that experience.
This intunement is also a demonstration of what it is to speak directly from our own felt experience giving it a voice to speak from itself. Notice what happens in me, in my own body, as it responds to that invitation to speak for itself. How does my body change when it feels heard and supported to express itself so directly. Somehow that feels kind of radical to give a part of me that kind of voice. You might be surprised how that might differ from what you expect!
The Arm Raising exercise is something I created. It helps me move forward when a desire to do something is stopped by an equally powerful feeling of “I mustn’t”. There is always something in me that needs to take control of life at all costs. When I desire something there is an equal desire to stop that from happening. This is a very physical mind-body exercise to find a way to awaken a third option beyond control and letting go. It invites a quality of movement beyond thought and understanding in a focusing modality. It offers a physical pathway to move us beyond what we know.
It brings us to the very crux of the discomfort at that edge between the two. By being present to both, holding both with equal positive regard, we wait and see if something new appears beyond our expectation. That is the purpose of this exercise to explore something in us that knows how to move us beyond our stoppages in a way we think we can’t. And yet discover something in us can. And it feels like a very, very different experience that emerges which is very clearly something not only desirable but something that is not of our own making and yet it is just what is wanted beyond our expectations. Good luck.
It’s beginning to sink in—that I can form a relationship—a WE—with something in me. I’d been sitting with certain troubling sensations and thoughts recently and had begun to understand this more deeply.
I woke up the other morning with an uncomfortably dry mouth and it came to me: I can sit-with this! I’d been wishing this dry throat situation away for years, and now saw that I’d been missing an opportunity to be-with-it.
What follows below is what I wrote while it was happening. Two short sentences came to me. I sat up and wrote them. And then kept writing.
“I don’t look to you to disappear. I look to you to appear.”
I said/thought this to that place in me that is dry—thirsty to the point of having no more resources, completely dry and without what she desperately needs.
Kevin shares a deep—and I want to say ‘unfolding’—insight into something unusual that his long-time focusing partner said to him, and how this statement opened up to him over a period of sitting-with-it. He’d fallen into the details, the talking-about. He’d lost the being-with.
Here’s what his partner said: Kevin, I need you to come back to me.
Over time, Kevin realized: This isn’t about my partner! And he explores, in his here-right-now-way, what was revealed to him. Yes, you guessed it: it’s about coming home to me again.
And then, he gently invites us to contemplate these words too—these words that, he tells us: have their own life, their own physical presence in me.