Holding Both with Equal Positive Regard is the essence of Wholebody Focusing. It is here that the most benefit will be experienced. Kevin explains how “holding both” can be supportive of your body’s sense of the next positive or negative event that you will be experiencing. He also shares his experience of being in grounded presence with the planned events happening for him soon and how his body responds to each event–with pleasure or anxiety.
While holding all that is there for him, Kevin asks his body which, among all these events, needs his attention most? At that point, he feels the expansion of his experience of himself and he can relax into that feeling. As the expansion grows, he also becomes aware of the resistance to that expansion. A part of him does not want to expand so quickly.
Kevin feels his hands massaging his thighs. The words come “You’re okay. You’ll be okay. It’s okay.” His hands have a function that is separate from his thoughts. Kevin holds onto that comfort he receives from the movement of his hands as anticipation resurfaces of an event that could possibly be uncomfortable.
His body is expanding into that spaciousness of being okay and he is aware that while the discussion may not be comfortable, there will be some space to accommodate that discomfort. He will be okay regardless of what comes.
Diana Scalera
Dear Kevin,
Two things in this audio stood out for me today and bought a smile and a lightness in me.
The first one was when you said something like… “my hands know how to comfort me much more than anyone else.” This gave me a sense of rightness and self empowerment inside, also a trust in my own deep knowing of what I need and that I know how to comfort myself. When I practice this more and more and know it more deeply then I wont be vulnerable to turn myself over to others thinking they know better. And eventually will also enable me to open more as I will have some agency through an intimate connection with my own body.
Secondly when you sensed into opening to different possibilities of what may evolve in a situation – as I sensed into a situation I was feeling resistant and a not wanting to do it, it bought an opening for more ways of being to come straight away – even the possibility of joy and laughter! Who would have thought that could happen.
My body likes this format today, it likes it can choose to follow in its own way and not be directed or instructed.
Thank you for sharing this.
Gabe