Author: Addie van der Kooy

Addie and Kevin on Gendlin’s Foundational Contribution to WBF

The first benefit of watching this video is a chance to observe these long-time collaborators approach the topic as a Heartfelt Conversation. The second benefit is to hear anew how essential the foundation of Gendlin’s work is to Wholebody Focusing.

We have a new series of videos that provide insights to Wholebody Focusing through a Heartfelt Conversation between Addie van der Kooy and Kevin McEvenue. Their purpose is to deepen their understanding of how the theories of Gene Gendlin, founder of Focusing, is still relevant to Wholebody. They also explore the new edge of the work of Addie van der Kooy in deepening our understanding of the power of Wholebody focusing that also draws from van der Kooy’s experience of working with clients and his own transformation using WBF.

The first benefit of watching this video is that it is a great pleasure to observe these long-time collaborators and friends approach the topic as a Heartfelt Conversation. What comes is from a state of grounded presence. One can see Heartfelt conversation in action and sense into the results of this kind of conversation.

The second benefit is to hear anew how essential the foundation of Gendlin’s work is to Wholebody Focusing. Addie directs us to connect to some parts of what Gendlin proposes into our WBF practice. He also points us to the simplicity and precision of the six core Focusing movements that Gendlin introduces in the Focusing book. Particularly, sensing into Finding a Handle and Resonating the Handle with the Felt Sense.

In future videos, we will present how those foundational concepts are part and parcel to how Wholebody Focusing developed to include the role of the bodily felt sense in a new way.

This post includes the video of this conversation. It also has the transcript of the video so that those who speak other languages can use the translation app attached to this blog as a way to translate the content of the video.  Transcript of Van der Kooy, McEvenue, and Gendlin

We invite you to enjoy, like, and comment on this conversation. We also encourage your anticipation of the videos of the rest of the conversation

To leave or read a comment, click here and go past the end of the post.

 

Will You Rest with Me?

 

WILL YOU REST WITH ME?

An invitation to Heartfelt Listening

The sound of our words fills my ears

and evokes thoughts and images in the space between.

But what is there in the space between our hearts

when the sound of our words fades into silence?

When the well of words dries up?

Would you like to sit with me

here at the doorstep of this moment,

and simply let the silence

fill the space between our hearts?

Would you like to let this silence speak

and let its sound become stronger than the sound of our words?

Will you rest here with me?

In this vast silent space of simply not knowing.

Where we can hear our hearts

beating the pulse of a Life

that also lives in distant stars

and foreign skies.

Addie Van Der Kooy, 11th November 2025

photo credit Direct Encounter.

A Pearl of Wisdom

“Every bad feeling is potential energy toward a more right way of being if you give it space to move toward its rightness…”.

Addie Van Der KooyHave you ever wondered how something as precious as a pearl is created? It starts with something gritty, like a grain of sand or a parasite, entering the soft, sensitive tissues of the oyster. To deal with the discomfort of this ‘irritant’, the oyster generates a natural substance (aragonite) which it normally uses to produce and maintain its hard and shiny shell. It is this substance that the oyster then coats over the irritant to protect itself from the discomfort. And thus a pearl is formed…

To me there is such a profound analogy here. Sometimes life can get a bit gritty and I may get “triggered” by an “irritant”, i.e. someone or a situation that is getting under my sensitive skin. What I hear the oyster is saying here to me, is that instead of reacting adversely to the irritation and upset that it has triggered inside me, I can bring my own “aragonite” into the equation – an embodied sense of the ground and aliveness of “Me Here”, which then can be felt beside or around the inner disturbance.

Of course, every analogy breaks down somewhere and the oyster analogy cracks its shell here: unlike the oyster coating over the irritant with its aragonite, so it doesn’t have to feel the gritty discomfort anymore, there is no smoothing over of what has been triggered in me, as that wouldn’t be Focusing. Instead, I can let both the physically felt sense of “all that about being triggered” and the embodied sense of ‘Me Here’ be there “with equal positive regard” and kindly and curiously listen to what wants to happen.

That may initially feel strange and somewhat counter intuitive, but it does make inner space for the energy of the triggered turbulence to move forward towards “its rightness”, as Gendlin would describe it in his well-known quote: “Every bad feeling is potential energy toward a more right way of being if you give it space to move toward its rightness…”.

And as it moves forward, I often feel the energy pent up in the inner disturbance begin to unwind, release and re-align with the aliveness of “Being Here” in this moment. I feel more alive and present, more Here and Now. And in this alchemical way, Presence deepens and grows in me. What was stirred up in me by the grit of Life, has now been transformed into a pearl of Presence.

It feels freeing to realise that each time I am “triggered”, there is an opportunity here to let the pearl of the Presence that I am grow stronger. Life is becoming a win-win experience!

From this perspective, every gritty moment in my life is grist to the mill for everdeepening Presence. Those people or situations, those “irritants” that trigger me, do not need to be my enemies or antagonists; instead, I can allow them to be my teachers of Presence!

Addie Van Der Kooy, 30th August 2025

The Disturbelence of Feeling Terror

Presence is the goodness of Life that underlies all “good” and “bad.”

When I was a young boy, about 4/5  years old, I would sometimes sit with my father in the garden after he had come home from work. I would sit in my little red wooden chair beside him. I don’t think we said much, but I remember feeling so proud of myself for sitting beside him.

Feeling Terror

Just over 60 years later, I am sitting in an imaginary Focusing chair next to a terrified toddler in an imaginary red chair. The terror felt in my belly feels very real. It’s a deeply embodied terror of other people rejecting and abandoning me.

It is not a word you will find in the dictionary, but the word disturbelence fits well.It captures the intense disturbance and discord the terror energy creates throughout the body and it also feeds into the the immense amount of energy that feels held within that terror.

Sitting Beside the Terror

It feels freeing to be able to sit beside the terror with its furiously fast and shuttering (a mixture of fluttering and shaking) in the belly. I can now be the father’s presence for the terrified toddler and sit beside him, just like my father sat calmly beside me in these early days.

Letting  Terror  Transform

The terrified toddler let me know that it likes me to feel the much slower, steady frequency of the energy circuit between my feet and the ground. And when I do, the terror energy calms down a little, and the energy trapped in the terror slowly releases as tiny shivers through my arms and legs. It feels so good for this energy to move and unwind.  It seems to know exactly how to do this, and as each day goes by, it loses its resonance with the “terror,” and what’s left is just fast shuttering energy in the belly. And as it releases bit by bit, I am feeling more and more alive and expansive – trapped energy releasing and joining the river of Life flowing through my body.

The Body Knows the WayForward, I Don’t

Eugene Gendlin’s quote speaks so well of this natural forward movement of Life’s energy: ” Every bad feeling is potential energy toward a more right way of being if you give it space to move forward to its rightness.. .. The feelings of “bad” or “wrong” inside you, in effect, your body’s measurement of the distance between its rightness and the way it actually feels. It knows the direction. It knows this just as much as you know which way to move a crooked picture.”

What my mind may easily label as “bad” or “wrong” inside is, in fact, the potential energy that can alchemize into the gold of Presence. Presence is the goodness of Life that underlies all “good” and “bad.”

Biography of Addie van der Kooy

Conversation with Addie van der Kooy and Kevin McEvenue

Letting In The Sunlight of Being

To sense the vitality of Presence within and without recharges our body and mind and resources us in ways nothing else can.

It is a real pleasure to welcome you to our next monthly Pause for Presence gathering on Saturday February 27th.  Life in lockdown during these dark, cold and sun-starved winter months (at least here in the northern hemisphere) is a perfect time to pause and let in the “sunlight of Being”.  To sense the vitality of Presence within and without recharges our body and mind and resources us in ways nothing else can.

Letting in the Sunlight–Addie van der Kooy

In one of our last gatherings the image of the ocean floor emerged with a sense of its deep vibrantly alive stillness, unperturbed by but not separate from the wind-swept waves and cross currents on its surface.  This felt image speaks beautifully of the dimension of Presence that can be felt inside us as “an underlying energy field of living Presence”, always alive, at peace and undisturbed by the waves of thoughts, emotions and physical discomforts you may experience on the surface.

Letting in the Sunlight–Cecelia Clegg

The idea of these monthly 90-minutes gatherings is to come to rest in this underlying energy field of Presence – a sense of the aliveness felt within the body and around us as a nourishing Presence that holds and constantly resources us: to rest and be nourished by the aliveness of “just being” and allowing the surface to be as it is.  Being together in this way creates a palpable energy field of group Presence which allows you to experience Presence in a much deeper way than if you were on your own.

The format of our gathering is simple.  After a brief guidance into Presence (for those who need it), we silently come to rest in “this underlying energy field of Presence”. There will also be time for any heartfelt sharing that wants to happen.

The details:

  • Time and date: Saturday 27th February from 4 pm to 5.30 pm GMT.
  • Venue: Zoom video conferencing platform. If you have no experience with Zoom, please let Cecelia know for necessary guidance.
  • Fee: £15 (by bank transfer) or £16 (by Paypal which includes £1 Paypal fee). It includes a free audio-recording of the guided sessions.
  • Email Cecelia Clegg at ceceliaclegg44@gmail.com to register.

If you are unable to attend, you can still register to receive an audio-recording of the guided sessions for a £5 fee.

See you then!

Addie van der Kooy and Cecelia Clegg

UK Wholebody Focusing Trainers

Previous workshops:
Pause for Presence

Welcome to the Depths of the Ocean

Photo Credit: Diana Scalera Labyrinth at Kripalu. Stockbridge, MA

The “Me Here” Series of Training Conversations

Trainer logo2mergeIn August of 2018, Addie van der Kooy, Kevin McEvenue and I met to discuss what is new in Wholebody Focusing.  Addie and Kevin collaborated on FOCUSING WITH THE WHOLE BODY: A CD-integrated Focusing Learning Program that was published in October 2006.  We wanted to bring together the two people responsible for this extraordinary learning program and to look toward the future of Wholebody Focusing.

That day we filmed until what needed to be said was complete.  The result was the six videos listed below.  The first four are already on the blog.  You may have seen them already.  The last two complete the series and set the stage for what comes next.

My experience as the producer/editor of these videos is that new ground is broken in these intimate dialogues and they may need several views to fully take in what is being shared.  This blog is proud to have the opportunity to make these conversations possible and to be the mechanism to share them with those who would benefit.

These six videos are each part of a flow of exploration so you may want play them in the order they are listed. Once you become familiar with them, you may want to pick and choose which one suits you most on any given day.

Please comment and share how these conversations have impacted you.  This is an exciting way to keep WBF as a vibrant life experience.

The Inner Core Muscle of “Me Here” This Interview discusses training someone to find grounded presence.

The Inner Core Muscle of “Holding Both”   This interview discusses training someone to “hold both with equal positive regard.”

Let Your Experience Be This interview discusses how to be with whatever comes even if it is not what you expected.

Me Here and My Thoughts This interview discusses how to be with racing thoughts that may or may not be true or helpful.

What Is Needed to Start the WBF Process?

Why is establishing an inner structure so important to learning Wholebody Focusing?

 

The End Note: Why Talk About Muscles?

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Fear is a Potent Energy

In this latest conversation between Addie van der Kooy and Kevin McEvenue, they explore fear and it’s potential. Given the current state of the world and all the unknowns, how do we find a way to transform fear into a potent ally that can support us through difficult times.

Enjoy this conversation between Addie and Keven and learn how to explore the potential of your own fear.

To read or leave a comment please click on the word Comments next to or under the photo.

The Pause for Presence Project

Recently Cecelia Clegg and I were both sitting silently in Presence together during an on-line WBF session, and it felt so rich and right to do so during a time in which it is so easy to contract in fear, anxiety and frustration.

To pause and give ourselves time to open up to the “Life felt within and without” feels Cecilianow more meaningful than ever, and it gave us the idea to invite others to join us in a Pause for Presence gathering. We take time together to come into grounded Presence. Then we rest silently in the depth and aliveness of our Being. This process helps us to enter a dimension unaffected by all that is going on within and around us.

About a month ago, we had our first Pause for Presence gathering. After a brief lead-in (for those who needed it), we sat (or stood or moved) in silent Presence, which at times would flow into some sharing between us.

We knew that it would be richly nourishing for everyone but what was surprising also to notice was how quickly the broader field of the group Presence became palpable in our virtual meeting room. There was an added richness that allowed many of us to experience a much deeper sense of Presence than would have been possible if we had been on our own. At the end of our time together, it also felt like there was a tangible calm, still eye amid today’s turbulence.

There is a definite heartfelt “Yes” in us to continue with these Pauses for Presence get-togethers as they are nourishing in so many ways. We have planned our next meeting on Friday 12th June. And if you sense a “yes” inside you to join in, then you are warmly welcome!

The details:

To give you a little taster of our first gathering, here is a brief 7-minute audio-clip of one of the lead-ins by Addie.

So if you are Paws up for Presence, we’d love to see you on the 12th!

UK WBF trainers Addie van der Kooy and Cecelia Clegg.