On Being Reactive Versus Being Responsive

Painting: Kevin McEvenue

Dear Kevin,

When the body hears that it’s “directed to do something,” it is not being given a choice. It’s expected to do it. It might refuse, or it might comply. But it cannot come from a natural place because there’s no offer of a choice.

What you are showing us is that we can build in a choice. For ourselves! After you see the typical reaction we all have to being told to do something, and we don’t want to, and yet, we’re going to make ourselves do it. It’s a burden trying to comply, and fighting it as we do.

So you’re showing us that we can turn to our own inner self, and offer a choice—an invitation. Instead of forcing ourselves to cooperate, we can ask the body to choose how it would like to respond.

An option not always offered to children. Or to us, when we were children. Yay for giving the body the chance to do something on its own, creatively. Rather than just feeling forced to comply or rebel.

Yay for offering ourselves the freedom of choice! What would the world be like if we had this option built into us? Would we be a bunch of ‘hippies?’ Or would we be purely self-centered people?

Or would we be a group of kindhearted, peaceful, beings connected to one another in a gentle way?

Elizabeth Morana

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3 thoughts on “On Being Reactive Versus Being Responsive”

  1. Let the revolution begin! What Kevin is offering here is a new choice for Focusers to be with long-term challenges. In some cases, Focusers learn that as a session ends, we might say to our bodies that we will revisit this part and give it more time. My question was always “Will I really do that?” This intunement is an alternate way to acknowledge, support and allow these parts to be integrated into our daily lives with compassion to allow something new to emerge.

    Kevin shows that these parts often share the desire to do certain things that their nature might immediately reject. When given time and space to be with itself; however, one might find that there is actually a mutual desire shared by that felt sense and body wisdom.

  2. I’m holding the whole of me in my hands….this is beautiful Kevin thank you for it.

    Not only do I restrict my natural body warnings desires impulses over my life I have let other people do it too.

    While listening to this meditation what came for me was the urge to put my head on my dying fathers chest. I could feel straight away the pulling away from him from my sisters. They would think they were protecting him because they think he wouldn’t like it. As a little girl I had to listen, to obey, to do what I was told. This audio reminded me I don’t have to obey anyone but my inner boss. And in my mind I can feel my body’s wanting and let it be as much as it wants to be there. I realize maybe he wouldn’t like it – I’m not sure – but it sure felt good in my body mind to let the wanting be there and to notice how my wanting has been squashed from outside a lot.

    Thank you Kevin.

  3. It is that listening to your body inner wisdom, that instinctive sense of what is wanted, builds that Me Muscle that says I am okay regardless of the situation. And you did that, regardless of how others might think. And I suspect that was so reaffirming of you as yourself. That kind of knowing changes everything. Kevin

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