What Has Come for Me Here

Paul Through the Window
Paul through the Window by Kevin McEvenue

I have been reflecting on how what has been shared—in this kind of Heartfelt Communication with one another—has felt so good for me. I’m thinking of the recent sense of connection that speaks from direct experience that has awakened something in each of the lives that are giving voice—or describing—their direct experience of something real and something worthwhile for them to communicate with themselves and to share with each other.

I remember that I would often say, “That touches me. Your words—or your voice—touches me deeply.”

So I’m wondering, what do I mean by that? What does that mean? “What you share here touches me deeply.” And I can feel that right now.  In my heart.  In my belly.  In my thighs. It’s a kind of warmth, a kind of loving and a kind of wanting that seems to touch a kind of an awakening of a desire in me that’s already there.

It’s not that desire of ‘you have something that I want’ and perhaps can never have, or feel kind of jealous in some way, or I’ll try to make it happen too—that kind of familiar response.

No—this is something deeper. It awakens the desire in me that is already…desirable.
Yeah. I know that place. I love that place. And you remind me of this place that I have in me too. It may be similar to the story—connected to your story. But it’s clearly very much my own. My own so much that I appreciate that you have given me something back to me—to my life—because you have shared something from your life. And I feel so grateful to you for bringing me back to me and what I desire so much in myself that feels supported in that heartfelt desire. That’s already emerging. That’s already happening. That’s already moving in that direction.

Yes! I like that.

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4 thoughts on “What Has Come for Me Here”

  1. I really like being able to read and then listen to the words. The audio brings the human being behind these words. In this case, it brings Kevin into my living room, right here, right now. I close my eyes and allow the words to make their way around my Body Space. Yes, I like that too. I like all that is awakened in me. And I also so love the painting!

  2. Dear Patricia
    The power of heard language, the power of sound, we seldom mention for that in. Focusing or at least I didn’t. Now I do and your words are so supportive of the ‘sound experience’ and what it gives me. And maybe others too!
    In my own early conditioning in life I realize now it wasn’t so much what was said and done but the power of the ‘intension’ that I could feel in the ‘sound’ behind it. It was the vibration of the sound itself that I embodied and got stuck there! It seemed to take on a life of its own.

    What I need now is another sound with another vibration that gives me hope and peace of mind that I can trust and open to. I can discern the difference now, and realize how I react and why. I know the sound I love to hear. It is the sound that seems to come from direct experience that seems when people share these story-experiences of themselves with us. You just did and I loved it. Thank you.

    Kevin McEvenue March 18, 2018

  3. Dear Kevin,
    I just listened to your audio of this post again, rather than simply reading it in print. It’s such a ‘more’ experience to hear the post from that person, as it was first spoken, as it was….discovered….as it was ‘born’…. in that moment.

    I liked that you said what it wasn’t—it wasn’t envy, it wasn’t jealousy—it was that what you hear from someone else’s direct experience awakens something that is already in you. There’s a recognition happening—”ah, yes, I know about that, I’m happy to find, to rediscover that, in me!”

    I’m glad you wondered what you meant when you said “That touches something in me.” That encourages me to wonder more about things I say. Looking more deeply into that ‘pond’ and not only its familiar surface.

    Thank you, Kevin.
    PS: I wrote a long comment to this post a couple weeks ago, and it disappeared before I could post it. Painful lesson: that I must write this in a Word Doc first! And many thanks to Diana for her administrative work and her other gifts that allow us to correspond with one another in this way!

  4. Dear Elizabeth

    To hear it all over agin, your words and then my voice brings it all back and yet more comes. That sense of wonder in that word ‘desire’ that has so much life in it for me. If I allow myself just to feel desire, and allow your words to support those words and your words once agin, that sense of desire deepens And I am able to discern the goodness of desire for what it is, as the life force itself! And then my own his tory of repression, how I mustn’t feel that, which seems to lead me to a kind of depression, a deepening sense of non-life.

    Now I just want to allow that sense of desire to come back to my body again, the wonderment that comes with those words and your. Yes, it is the sense of ‘ desire of wonderment’ that awakens a body sense of me! My own life felt in my own body that desires and wonders. Nothing more, nothing less.


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