Noticing When Something New is Her

“How do we know that Wholebody focusing works at all?” It is in noticing that something new is showing up in one’s life or that something is showing up more than it did before.

Photo Credit: Selfie of Cristina, Diana and Deni

Wholebody Focusing can be very subtle. For me, especially during a session, sometimes only a movement comes, or pain in a part of my body without words or a “felt sense.” Sometimes I spend a long time with these movements or sensations. It begs the question, “how do we know that Wholebody focusing works at all?” It is in noticing that something new is showing up in one’s life or that something is showing up more than it did before.

We’ve been writing about “holding both with equal regard.” By holding space for all our parts, we recognize that our process is supporting healthy changes in how we live our lives. Because we have new options for dealing with our challenges doesn’t mean; however, that these parts of us that struggle no longer have life in them.

What Was There Before

I grew up with a narcissistic mother who would become angry if I asked for help. I learned never to ask for help and that the outcome of any situation depended on me not showing any need or reaction. Also, I attended a Catholic school that prioritized fear-mongering and punishment over the existence of a loving God. I developed a severe form of anxiety disorder that included both a chronic state of fear, along with spikes of disabling panic attacks.

Psychotherapy, drugs, acupuncture, and homeopathy helped me manage my learned responses to stressful situations. Reiki and Wholebody Focusing have enabled me to live in a new way.

Learning to Open to New Ways of Being

Reiki teaches that we can ask for help from the Universal Life Force, which is available to all sentient beings. It is without judgment and the need to meet some threshold of certain kinds of behavior. One needs only to ask for help to receive it. I primarily use what is called “situational” Reiki in which one asks for support with a particular situation.

I started using this when I began cancer treatments because I needed to meet with doctors. My natural inclination was to believe that the meetings would be harmful or that there would be no help, support, or kindness available to me. To find a new way to be, I would establish my connection to the Universal Life Force. I asked that my highest and greatest good be served along with the highest and greatest good of those who were supporting me. I found time after time that the outcome was so much better than what I would have automatically created. The high levels of fear were still there, but now there was also the belief that Reiki was available to me to support my next step.

I’ve come to rely on situation Reiki throughout my day, not just when I felt my life was in danger. What I am noticing is that before I form all sorts of disaster scenarios, it occurs to me to connect to the Reiki energy to ask for help. I don’t need to be in mortal danger to use this process. I can use it to help me get through a typical day with everyday challenges. It is a far cry from my chronic state of panic that was punctuated by panic attacks. What comes for me now is how automatic and sure I feel about asking for help. No more angry mother to cause me to worry. There is no more punishing God who only helps if you are good enough.

Notice When You Feel the Shift

My trip to Italy helped me clarify my relationship with situational Reiki. I went there to improve my Italian and to attend and present at a focusing conference. I took two weeks of Italian lessons. I also hired a tutor to help me create the transcript that I would read during the workshop I would present. I also had someone who offered to translate whenever necessary.

It was about a half-hour before the participants were set to show up. A mosquito flew toward me, and in an automatic reaction to my fear of mosquitos, my hand hit the iPad screen and deleted the transcript of the workshop. I had an old version that I did quick edits to, but it was not the same. In the face of the outcome of the next few hours being entirely out of my control, I asked Reiki to support the participants’ highest and greatest good as well as my own. As I did this, I could feel powerful energy surrounding me.

Somehow I had the language I needed and was able to understand the participants well enough to meet their needs. The participants were appreciative and enthusiastic, and I felt supported by the Reiki energy, the group, and my colleagues who had gotten me there in the first place. I noticed how new this was for me to feel so much support.

A few days later, I was staying with a family who had two dogs. It was evening, and a strong thunderstorm was floating in. I noticed the dogs were quite upset. I called one to my side and asked Reiki energy to support him in being with the storm. He calmed down and stayed at my side even when I went out on the balcony to watch the storm. The second dog, who had gone into hiding came close to me, and I offered Reiki to this dog. She also calmed down and stayed near. My friend told me usually the dogs run wildly around the house during thunderstorms.

As I have more experiences with the idea that by opening to my own highest and greatest good, the support that I need is there without fail. Even when I ask for help, and the outcome is not what I expect, I can ponder what about this outcome is in my highest and greatest good?

What Is Needed to Experience the New Parts of Us that Emerge

It is in noticing not only that there is space to have new beliefs like there is help available to everyone just the way we are. It is also essential to recognize that those parts of us that don’t think this way may still need support and love. When I was in session with Kevin, and I spoke about my newfound faith in something outside of myself, I noticed how my abdomen was having a spasm. Both are there. I can believe that support and loving-kindness are always available to me, even though my gut goes into spasm when I openly acknowledge the existence of this support.

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Author: Diana Scalera

I am a Certified Wholebody Focusing Professional and Reiki Master Level III. I am interested in the cross-section between Wholebody focusing and energy work. I offer Reiki treatments in person and at a distance. I am also available to train clients in WBF. Please contact me at

7 thoughts on “Noticing When Something New is Her”

  1. Thank you for this inspiring post, Diana, which articulates and goes to the heart of what I constantly deal with – and perhaps on a vaster level – what all of humanity is trying and desperately needs to learn. Am I really a valid and integral part of this universe? And does it (pardon the French) give a shit about supporting my little life? It is about this grand illusion of separateness and the harm it brings, and the benefits that come from undoing these chains. Thank you for sharing a simple yet profound instruction manual!

  2. Thank you Ellen.
    I just started to realize that I have confidence that I can rely on Reiki energy whenever I need it. It took a Wholebody focusing session for me to notice the vast difference this confidence means for me in how I live my life. It was a moment of acceptance that I was no any longer at the constant mercy of the belief I am alone. It also was a recognition that there still are parts of me that go into spasm at the thought I might ask for help and believe I will get it. Giving this part space to be held by me and Reiki energy just the way it is for as long as it needs is just as important as knowing that I can reliable rely on a source of support outside of myself.


  3. Thank you so much for this. I am very struck by this idea of asking for help from something vast and capable. I have such a push-pull relationship with it! So drawn to it, and so rejecting, at the same time. So much there…!

  4. Thanks for your comment Samarra.

    Being in a relationship with both the push and the pull of believing whatever you believe about yourself is the way to create a balance between these opposing energies in your body. Only by bringing them into your awareness, can each, on their own, find their best path.

  5. Dear Diana

    It sounds like the word Reiki is like a handle word for you that awakens something very fundamental in you that is supportive of life in and around you. It is not a word that I could use for myself because I don’t have any connected experience of this process, but I can apprciate it has something like that in you. I feel we need such handles in our lives, a word, a body sense of etc…… and then gradually you begin to trust that there is more to that word or image or experience that points to a much larger world than what we once imagined and that it is supportive of you and your life. Like it knows you, loves you, guides you and will take care of you when you invite it to do so. Kevin

  6. Dear Kevin,
    I like your phrase “points to a much larger world.” It is the concept behind Reiki. The first Reiki Master was Mikao Usui, who searched for 20 years to understand how one’s faith can heal. After a 21 day fast at a Buddhist monastery, he became enlightened and developed the capacity to heal. He used written symbols to connect to the universal life force (Reiki) that is available to all sentient beings. A practitioner draws these symbols with their hands before lying their hands on the patient. One experiences Reiki as an energetic physical connection. The early Reiki Masters believed that the more Reiki practitioners use these symbols across the globe, the more powerful they become and that they have the possibility of contributing to global healing. One can use Reiki to treat oneself also. It is the first time in my life I feel connected to and supported by something beyond myself.

    Thank you for pointing to the larger world of possibilities.


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